He won two awards last August during the Linggo ng Wika as over-all champion in Spelling and Story-telling in all grade one level in his school. The teacher decided to award him the medals together with the other winners in some other categories during the christmas party.
He can't wait during the awarding kasi nga huli na tinawag ang name nya. When Teacher Cristine mentioned him, he was already jumping! "Whoaa!!!" he shouted pa. That was a very Bien-like attitude. As much as I hated competition~ he do loves it. He used to cry when he lost but you know as he grows older, he came to understand the value of losing and winning. One thing more, when he losses, he won't give up. The more he wanted to master the field. It was not me. I give up and find some other thing to get busy.

And there was this one thing pa happened during the party. I joined the parlor game and well, yun nga natalo ako. He came to me and told me "It's fine Mom. At least you had fun like a kid."
Feeling ko tuloy that I was such a losser. So I joined another game where I'm good at.
Di rin ako napahiya, I won in the badminton contest. Nyakksss.... I won and I enjoyed playing like a kid. It was so much fun when you play like a child.
Then Bien told me that I was great!
Kita nyo? Napakapraning kong witch! hihihi

Potential playboy...

Gladys visits me home to fetch Alma so we can stroll the mall today. When we get there we've found her in bed and she can't hardly breath. I'm so weak in dealing with that kinds~ I honestly didn't know what to do~ I just stared at her as in point blank. Emotionless or it is as if the world had stop turning for a bit. Binalikan na lang ako ng malay noong narealized kong sinampal ni Gladys si Alma. Then Alma cried. She cried out loud. Nanikip yata ang puso ko. I've never seen a friend who was so hurt like this in my entire life. Lumapit na lang ako at i-nembraced na rin si Alma~ nag-group hugged kaming tatlong sexy~ weeee... Nakiiyak na rin. Obviously she was all alone in the house. Wala yung asawa niyang 'alang ka-kwenta-kwenta.

I've seen a different Gladys now. With her transformation nawendang ako. I'm hearing and seeing things from her differently. Her words and the way she show her care for Alma. Compared to me now parang ako pa 'yung walang alam gawin.

Anyways ... balik tayo ke Alma..

Gladys told her na iwanan na yung house pati na yung guy pero nanghihinayang pa sya sa bahay nila baka kasi i-uwi ng lalake ang kabit nya sa conjugal house nila at ang kabit pa makikinanabang sa lahat ng mga ipinundar nyang gamit. Ewan ko ba, third year lawschool man sana ako pero wala talaga akong legal advices na maibigay. I'm sooo weakkk..... I was hurting like her too and when I'm hurt I can't think well. As in all my wits goes out from my head darling! Sabay na lang sa agos ng panahon.
Alma likes to stay in bed. Ayaw nyangkumilos at umangon. 'kalunkot~ Akala ko she will get better after the retreat pero di pa rin enough. I dont know how to help her. well, Gladys stayed with her today. Doon matutulog ke Alma and I went home alone with the thought of her. I can't stay, Bien would really look for me.
It is just sad to sleep this night with a bad package in my heart. Sana bukas pag gising ko marealized kong panaginip lang pala itong lahat. Sana...

I am now listening to the music tribute for Princess Diana. It was bought on a tape since CD's were still new to me and well and I only have a cassette player in 1997. I used to listen to this tape together with Besfren Eves and most of the times with my other friend Janet when she would spend the night in Dacoville.
And until I graduated in college, the album would still top my list for "The music that I love to listen when falling asleep"
Then Vonda Shepard of Ally Mcbeal came and I've moved on from Diana's tribute music.
But today..... ~sobs~
can't help but cry. Ito naman po kasing si Eric Capton biglang inawit ang Tears in Heaven na kasali sa album ni Princess Diana. We both love that music. She used to dedicate that song for me. Ahhh.... I just missed Janet Duatin.
She's a good friend of mine. We've always been together day and night. She would always be in my side right or wrong. She would fight for me, cook for me and most of all we cried and laughed together in just simple things. She also became a friend of my bestfriend Eves. We both love her. She makes us happy and we couldn't even spend our day right without seeing her.
She cooks well. Her best recipe is the porkchop savored with garlic. Masarap.... Ilonggang-ilongga talaga ang lasa ng kinakain kapag sya ang nagluluto.
I wonder how is she doin' now. U know it's like something is lost with out her. I really wanna see Janet again. But...
Something will never be the same again.
Matagal ko na siyang ayaw isipin because I have not seen her for years. The last time I'm with her was when she graduated from college. Nauna siya sa amin ng isang taon tapos ako na yung sumunod. She was not there for she was already working in Manila. When
Bes graduated from college, I was expecting to see her but ... I did not. Nandoon sina Joel, Joan, Nandy at iba pang friends namin but she was not there. It pains me because I was so excited to her kasi nga surprised namin ki Eves yung presence namin. But you know na things will not turn out always on th way you have expected it.
Nalulungkot lang naman ako kasi na-mimissed ko na ang taong yun.
As in sobrang na-miss ko na sya. I just hope na one of these days, ma-browse nya ako dito sa net. I just hope. I wish. At least man lang sana

• Artist: Various Artists
• Flags: Collection (various artists)
• Styles: Classical Pop, Adult Alternative Pop/Rock, Pop/Rock

I've read this somewhere..i just can't remember when.... but this is how I feel for Alma.

When the daylights gone and your on your own
And you need a friend just to be around
I will comfort you, I will take your hand,
I will pull you through, I will understand,
And you know that
I'll be at your side,
There's no need to worry,
Together we'll survive,
Through the haste and hurry,
I'll be at your side, if you feel like you're alone,
And you have nowhere to turn, I'll be at your side,
If life's standing still, and your souls confused,
And you cannot find what road to choose,
If you make mistakes you can't let me down,
I will still believe, I won't turn around,
I'll be at your side,
There's no need to worry,
Together we'll survive,
Through the haste and hurry

Friend, life is precious. There are more things to do than just feeling miserable. You can end the pain. Let it go... please.... let it go.

Listen your feet

I used to join in a school marathon event when I was in grade school.
It was stopped because my mom was one hundred percent against it. Anyway, it brings back my memory because my son Bien approached me yesterday if he could join the athletic club in school . He wanted to experience the running competition to be done in March next year. Some of his his friends joined thats why he also wanted to be in the list.
Going back to my grade school.
I was in the competition because of my father. He was my lawyer at that time so mom just supported us. And so every morning we have our practice. He would check on my running time and taught me lot of things to ponder. There was one that he'd always say everyday.
"Loves, to become a better runner, you need a quite feet."
I didn't understand it at that time because all I care about is to win the race and to make it on the top. But you know, I just get tired and accepted all the defeats I went through. I did not win even once and so I quit running and I've never been to sports since then.
My father would just smile at me and my mom was the happiest.
It is only today that I realized what my father meant for a quite feet. Maybe, in my own understanding, if I hear my feet hitting the ground,I'm not running well. Pounding the pavements are kinda hard on my joints. I must keep my feet close to the ground, using a quick, shuffling stride.
If I had understand it well before, maybe I could win. Maybe. I hope. At least.
I told Bien about my experience and shared to him the value I've learned from my father's quite feet but he just told me that he will run with a happy feet instead!
My reaction was like this...
"Ha? Another realization?"

Bien Wants an iPod for Christmas

I took time to chat and play with my son Bien and get him do the posing, play it like a game of Simon say's. But oh my god, he won't comply anymore. He is acting like a real grown-up already. Even in his own choices of gifts. Right now he prefers books and doing the net surfing than just playing with toys. But this time you know he was asking for an iPod. And I feel like "Ouchh..it's too expensive for a 7 years old." This time when he asked me that there were no tears and tantrums happen. But to pick between the iPod Nano and the iPod touch is somewhat a big decision to make. Bien gives me and Dad joys in life especially when he tries to be responsible in school and at home. I'm studying the prices of iPod online hoping to find the cheapest and the best.
Eyes are windows to the soul, so when I tried getting a closer look down to his eyes, I could really feel how much he wanted it. But you know, I'm crossing my fingers, Bien said that his Grandmom Vicky would pay it. Yeheey!

Digital Times

Digital Camera got everything, yes but we also need a good means of technology in downloading the files and a good LCD TV for viewing it. Without such medium,things will be a little meaningless.

In photography simplicity is the best. Unconventional composition in photography works for me. In my own opinion, I don't really appreciate the fine tuning I'm doin' in some of my works. It seems that the photographer does not really reading the histogram while shooting (Guilty me!!!). It is so important to use the whole range of histogram because the result of it will mean lower noise, better colours and punchier pictures. Technically, I will give more credit to the medium used for viewing the photos. Your pretty good shots will look more prettier when viewed with LCD TV with a higher resolution. When the action was caught during the shooting in your digital camera, no one can disturb you when your downloading it to your laptop . It will do great for you. In an experience, a photo that was taken overcooked looks great in my laptop. The picture in the screen feels nicely balanced.

Rowenagirl

We looked a lot alike when we were growing up. She was six years older than me but we do get along very well. We were dressed the same for every Patricio family occasions. Somehow it was a pain when her family decided to permanently live in Iloilo City. We've lost connections but I still believed in our friendship. She is my cousin Rowena. She's a thousand times eccentric than me. I have bunch of friends but it felt like I've always lost one when she went away. Last year I heard that Rowena was anorexic. Accordingly, it was a horrifying journey. In her head, she is conflicted. She loves the eating disorder and then hate it so much. It makes me sad. I've never want her to be like that. She has depression and anxiety. But you know this is not a bad year really. Last January when she started a therapy . She started making herself busy with everything. She even registered in an online dating site with a hope of finding someone who can make her feel better. She used to be one real hot babes that is why it is also hard for us to see her becoming so insecure and unhappy.
Her improvement is becoming visible. I think before the year ends she will be better. I could already see her smiling like a college girls in town. Right now, she had lots of friends online. I think it helps her a lot talking to different kind of people around the world. I dunno if she met someone already in that site but she is surely inlove. I can sense it!
Honestly, I was at first skeptical with that as part of her therapy. But you know, when you are in bleak making friends online is surely a big help.

I can't help but remember a highschool friend who married a Desi girl she met on the net as well. When I asked him during a party last November, he told me that he just tried visiting the site and was already hooked with it. There she met someone different that made her world a complete place to live in. It wrinkled my nose right now. Ahhh ... I just realized how lucky I am to be part of this century. Filled with technology that could help you find solutions to almost all your worries.
Well, going back to Rowenagirl, I wish to talk to her anytime soon. Maybe this coming summer we could visit her in Iloilo. I can't wait. I'm so excited!

Good sleeping everyone! Welcome to my new carpet!

I'm such a good friend because I can make you smile a 100 different kinds!

Story behind:
I took these pictures way back in 2005 during the wedding of my gudfren Jeph and Gang Jei. They don't have a copy, I never give them and just keep it in my PC. You know why? Because Jei and I were not really dIs close ~sure~ hehehe -pa-kyut lang~ (imagine me crossing my fingers). Though deep inside we both appreciated each other naman.
Oh and aside from the fact that I have this attitude of taking stolen shots of people I love and surprise them after years!

Here are some of the photos my Gang Jei (I wish to know how she would feel) would love to see!!!

Virgin during the first night. Hehehe..







Jei... igatt..... pacuteee pa.....








Hmmm... talappp.... wild kisser talaga si Ben Afleck



I don't wanna stop amazing them.
Love you both! Muwahh..

I am a good friend kasi I will stay with you 'till the end.

Kahapon pinuntahan namin ni Alma yung kabit ng asawa nya.
Igaganti ko talaga itong friend ko kasi sinugod niya sa opisina si Alma upang ipaalam na iiwanan na sya ng asawa. Ito namang kaibigan ko, nabigla sa nalaman. Di niya kasi akalaing gagawin uli ng asawa ang pambabaeng naging dahilan kung bakit di pa sila nagkakaroon ng anak. Gali na galit talaga ako! As in! Napaka-impulsive ko talagang tao kaya pinilit ko si Alma na hanapin kung saan nakatira ang walang hiyang babaeng iyun.
Ang nangyari, doorbell pa lang, pinakawalan na ng babae ang aso nilang subrang laki! Natakot ako!!! Nawala tuloy yung galit ko. Buti na lang at nakalock yung gate kung hindi~~ nakuuu!!! Mawawalan ako ng powers! Sa galit ko hindi ko na nagamit ang kaunting IQ na natitira sa utak ko. Bigla yatang akong nabobo. Mas lalo lang tuloy nadepressed si Alma. ~sobs~ To the rescue si Gladys. Sa lahat ng tao siya 'yung pinakahuli kong maiisip na magsu-suggest ng retreat. After the accident we visited Gladys. She then bring us to the nearest parish center. Dun nya ipanlist si Alma na magretreat. 2 weeks yata syang mag -i-inhouse sa loob. Pati tuloy ako napagsabihan ng pari na hindi idaan lahat sa init ng ulo. Oo nga... tama sila. Nanliit nga ako eh... kung minsan talaga~~~~ hahayy. kalami nga amiga!

MUsIcAL TaG

A musical tag from my very good friend Salvee

Here’s the rule: Answer the questions with song titles (your favorite song or songs that you like to play most of the times). No side comments please. Let the song titles explain your answer.

Here we go:
1.) How am I feeling today?
AMAZED by LONESTAR

2.) Where/when will I get married?
CELEBRATION by KOOL & THE GANG

3.) What is my best friend’s theme song?
OOPS! I DID IT AGAIN by BRITNEY SPEARS ( hahahaha...can't help to comment)

4.) What is/was high school like?
WE ARE FAMILY by SISTER SLEDGE

5.) What is the best thing about me?
Wonderful Tonight.....Eric Clapton (eherrmmm... ehemmm)

6.) How is today going to be?
(You Shook Me) All Night Long.....AC/DC

7.) What is in store for this weekend?
Kiss From A RoseSeal

8.) What song describes my parents?
Beautiful In My Eyes.....Joshua Kadison

9.) How is my life going?
Because You Loved Me.....Celine Dion

10.) What song will they play at my funeral? Can't cry hard enough

11.) How does the world see me?
SHE BANGS by RICKY MARTIN

12.) What do my friends really think of me?
IT'S MY LIFE by BON JOVI

13) Do people secretly lust after me?
PRETTY WOMAN ROY ORBISON

14.) How can I make myself happy?
HOW DO I LIVE by LEANN RIMES

15.) What should I do with my life?
i BELIEVE Ni jUAN MIgUEl bONDoC

16.) Will I ever have children?
SEPTEMBER by EARTH WIND & FIRE

17.) What is some good advice?
What About Love.....Heart

18.) What do I think my current theme song is?
Dress You Up.....Madonna

19.) What does everyone else think of my current life?
The Search Is Over.....Survivor

20.) What type of men/women do you like?
"Smooth Operator".....Sade

21.) Will you get married?
Careless Whisper.....Wham!

22.) What should I do with my love life?
Lovergirl.....Teena Marie

23.) Where will you live?
FAIRYLAND by Eldanie Uelle

24.) What will your dying words be?
I WILL REMEMBER YOU by SARAH MCLACHLAN

I'm tagging you, Joan, Jei.....

Balik bloghopping na naman ang witchy ngayon. Haaa...it's been so long na rin keya namiss ko tuloy. Naenjoy kong masyado yung blog ng bago kong friend na si Doktora Rio! It is really an experience journeying her. Particular kasi ako sa ngipin. Iyun kasi ang una unang kong pinagmamasadan kapag nakikipag-usap ako sa isang tao. As if maganda epen ko~hehehehe~ coffee drinker keya? So wa na e-expect na white and shiny itong akin. There was one time this year, nagpalinis ako ng epen taz itinanong ke Dentist Lourdes if magkano ang magpaputi ng ngipin, she told me na 50 thousand daw.
Ahh, sayang naman, pwede ko ng i-envest sa lupa ang pera. Mura lang kaya ang lupa dito sa Gensan.
Napansin yata ng kaklase kong dentista na di ko type ang presyo kaya sinabi nyang meron naman daw tag-ten thousand pero parang ako pa ang maglalagay ng medisina~ hay! etsus! Ayoko ng ganyan uy! Mamaya magkamali pa ako. Kaya eto, balik na lang ako sa pag-aaply ng baking soda sa epen ko. Well, it's working naman so di ko na masyadong pinu-prublema. I got this Sampung Kalokohan Thing from rio's blog. Nakyutan ako at na-amused kaya nakikigaya na rin. Hmm.. Ano nga ba yung top ten kalokohan ko?


1. Yung banyo namin sa bahay medyo malaki. Dalawa. One from my parent's room and the other one katabi ng kusina namin, yun ang common~gamit for everybody~. Dun ako nakikigamit sa banyo ng Mom since birth kaya nakasanayan ko na and when I do eto yung ginagawa ko~ I-turn-on ang electricfan sa loob habang pumupopo (pasintabi po) tapos magbabasa ng book. Me kasamang cassette na merung sentimental value sa akin sapagkat gift ng Papa ko iyon nung debut ko. So ganito, me electricfan ako at me music inside the banyo. Di ako makukuryente kasi safe naman ang lay-out. Malaki nga kaya di mababasa ang radio at fan. Tapos habang naliligo sumasayaw.

2. Mainit dito sa Gensan. Halos lahat ng room sa hauz me aircon naman pero when you go out, ang init-init. Kaya its always a refresing moment kapag naliligo ako ng me ice sa balde. Saraappp talagaaa.... feeling ko nga nasa iceland ako~ harharhar.

3. Subra akong matulog. Umiikot na parang relo. Kaya ng si Bien dun na sa kabilang rum kung matulog. When Ervien's here naman, he would wrapped me in his arm para di na ko makagalaw. Weird kasi usually I can't sleep~ nasisikipan ako. But with him panatag ang tulog ko.

4. Gusto ko yung mga taong werdo, maldita,writer basta hwag lang yung plastik. Di ko sila kayang i-handle. Hate ko rin yung di marunong magmahal. Yung parang take lang ng take tapos di naman namimigay in return. Selfish! Selfish nga ang tawag sa mga ganun.... ayoko rin sa kanila. I can't stand a second with them.

5. Mahilig ako sa kahit anung babasahin basta ba gusto ko yung writer. Nagbabasa rin ako ng komiks. Sad nga lang kasi mukhang wala ng tagalog komiks ngayun. Eh nung elementary pa ko subrang addicted ako sa komiks kaya tuloy ang mommy napilitan akung ibili ng mga pocket books na Sweet Dreams at Sweet Valley High para lamang i-divert ang hilig ko! Lintek kasi na Yaya~ hehehe~ subrang hilig magbasa ng romance pocket books at komiks keya nahawa ako. Pero when I got addicted sa Sweet Dreams Books~ Si Mommy talaga yung unang natuwa. I still remember na she would call her sister sa Manila para lang i-package yung mga books na i-norder nya. Ka-suwerte kong bata. Bawal toys nun sa amin kaya until now di ako mahilig sa laruan (pero mahilig akung maglaro~ nyaksss....mushy!)

6. Di ako mahilig magluto pero kapag nagluto ako~masarap daw! Panu kasi, nagbabasa rin ako ng mg recipe books. Binabasa ko lang~ wala naman sa puso. Yun pala ang junding eh mag-aaral din ako ng baking ngayun! Try nyo... masarap talaga mag-bake.

7. Masyado kong mahal ang Grey's Anatomy na TV show ngayun. Kaya idi-nawn-load ni Daddy Ervs ang lahat ng episode. Nahawa ako ke Bien. Sya yata ang nakadiscover nun. Eh, may nakita akung kissing scenes kaya pinatigil ko sya sa kapapanood. Dyaskeng bata~ tapos sinubukan kong panoorin~halaka biglang na-gwapuhan ako ke Patrick Dempsey~kaya yun... di ko na crush si Jet Li. Pero ang true love ko naman si Andy Garcia forever tapos yung pinagpapantasyahan ko naman sexually ~hehehe~ ay 'yung koreanung lalaki na bida ng TV Novelang MY GIRL~ si Lee Dong Wook~ Ayyy... just merely uttering his name makes me weak. Naykopuuuu!

8. Halos lahat ng damit ko kulay itim kaya di ako pwedeng maging United Nation Ambassador ng Pilipinas. Mamaya iisipin nila that our country is promoting witchcraft~y~ hahayy ang cornyyyy...

9. Mahilig ako sa mga scarf. I cover my face kasi kapag nasa labas ako, ayukung maarawan. Matutunaw ako. Eeee!

10.Mahilig ako sa t-back (shhh...) Ewan. Malamig kasi sa pakiramdam.

Jei your turn-Tag kita.

Break-up letter

While fixing an old cabinet I saw the breakup letter I was supposed to give to my first love way back in high school. I remember changing my mind not to send this letter to him thinking that my words were too kind. Hahaha...I could no longer imagine the feelings! Nakakadiri man but let me share it oke?
Here it goes (Imagine me crying while writing this~eww...~)

Friday, June 15, 1991

Dear Mxx,

My eyes is flowing with tears
My heart is beating with pain
I have to go
It's time to bade goodbye
For all the goodtimes
I shared with you
Thanks for the love
I wish its pure
But I guess your love is not enough to satiate me
I'm sorry for demanding too much
I won't to disturb you again
I guess this is the best decision
I could ever make for the two of us
It's sooo hard...
it's like I'm dying.
Got no choice but end our relationship
You've got someone now
I pray for your happiness
Your a good person and you deserve to be happy.
I dont have enough patience Mxx
and you don't understand me
so before hurting you
I rather leave
You dont deserve me
Im too romantic, too demanding
Too sincere

You know your soon to be Wife, whoever she may be will be very lucky to have you.
I will envy her but I will thank her if she will take care of you and your kids to be.

One thing for sure. I will not forget you because your a part of my life.

This is already final. Ayoko na and the next time I will commit, no more lovely heart involve.
I will never love someone the way I have loved you.
I learned my lesson.
I will not marry
I will not run for any man's attention.
I will not love morethan my self
I still thank God to have meet someone like you.
You're such an educational experience.

After reading I was laughing real hard. Yuck,Yuck,Yuck! Kadiri ko pala noon! Tapos stationary pa ni Bettyboop ang gamit kong papel. Lagoottt..... gisunog na nako oi! (I just saved the memory in my blog~ somehow kataw-anan man sad gud.)

More about me

Relaxation
I stay with my kids (Maxine, Lean Igiboy, Lira,Bien)~pumpangkins ko po pwera ke Bien~
and my husband when he stays home in Gensan. That would be the best relaxation I could ever imagine. Their kakulitan drives my worries away every time we spend time.

Essential gadget
My MP5 player. It's my connection to audio-book-world-of- fun when I get tired of reading and hoolaahhh it is also my easy access to photography.

LuckyCharms
Books ~ I bring one whenever I go out the house and read when I'm just at home.

Brand
I'm not particular~ myabe anything witchylooking appeals to me but I consider National Bukstur as my brand. NB addict ako.



Holiday Tradition
The family always goes out the city. Like this coming Xmas, we will be spending it in Mt. Apo. So in the 23rd of December, the whole Patricio will be travelling in Kidapawan City. The kids were all excited for the upcoming trip. For the first time they will be seeing the Mt. Apo though we will only be spending it in one of the resort that we could be able to view the said landform. Di ko pa alam ang name ng venue. But promise to share all our pictures here.


BOOZE
I do drink once in a while. But only when I'm at home visited by friends from their faraway kingdom. We get our bottle of San Mig Light~ my favorite vice.

TAMBAYAN

I simply love McDo's coffee and oh..the background music masyadong 80's. Well, here in Gensan~ I dunno know sa other city. When I get so upset, you can find me here reading my books while sipping the coffee...

I could see my self enjoying the baking lesson done every weekend! It's been five months now and 7 more months to go for my graduation!!!

The only thing why I enrolled in this baking and pastry class is because my friend just invited me. Ganun lang, isa po akung kaladkaring kaibigan. My friend is preparing for a skill that she can use living in Australia. It's just that she can't go to baking school alone. Now I realized na wala akong dapat pagsisisihan. Even in the first month na na-bored ako, finally I'm having fun!
The best part of this experience is to be able to bake a real cake for the persons you cared for. Like today, Maxine's Birthday, na-enjoy nilang masyado yung ibineyk kong cake. In there eyes makikita mo talagang mas special yung ikaw mismo ang gumawa. Tapos they keep on hugging me pa. Saraapppp!

Insecurities will kill your being
It won't help you in any way
but sometimes I honestly felt it
and when I do I just disregard the feelings.
My friend Gladys asked me how I deal with it.
I don't wanna sound right but I just told her not to think about the
person who makes you feel that way.
Ignore ....ignore.... ignore....
"It's too hard..." she said
and yes she is right.
Do you think I could ignore those who would made me feel that way?
"Ignore your face! Hah!!!"
I forgive but I get even first.

The most kataw-anan nga text I have ever received.

Gladys: Loves help!
Loves: nya... unsa na sad diay na? Nainlove na pud ka sa laing laki?
Gladys: No way! tabangi ko beh...unsa diay ang first aid sa kaspa?
Loves: Hahahahahahaha ngano diay kinsay gikaspa
Gladys: Ako uuyyy.... ambot nganu.
Loves: Try lang gud nudnuri ug kalamansi

She sends me sms after 5 minutes
Gladys: Yateee... loves! Kahapdos....

As in my god, nakatawa gyud ko pagmaayo!

I work at night for the following reasons.
Bien could have my time when he studies before going to sleep. We can talk about his activities in school and everything he encounters during the day. I can work better kasi walang mangugulong pamangkin,kaibigan at iba pang tao. The phone calls, the sounds of the door that knocks my room irritates my mood to work.

So it is the most comfortable time for me to work.

My only problem is that when working, I eat... lots of food that I craved. Nakakainis. I've been watching my food since birth, napapagod na nga ako. My friend Gladys told me that if she only have my figure okey na sya. But honestly, ang hirap talagang makuntento ano? kasi naman gusto kong lumiit at pumayat na katulad ni Joan at Eves. I still have hopes. Loads of it.... papayat rin akong katulad nila. As in super skinny thin.

Sensitive
Changeable mind
Curious
Inquisitive
Immature
Childish
Loving
Sharing
Joyfull
Carefree
but....
but....
When hurt
she will kill
When sad she will cry
When alone she will reach out
because happiness is a decision
And she decided to be happy to screw those people who makes her sad
and to protect the
People who loves her
and even to the those that let her down
She will always rise...
and will try to survive
against all obstacle
against all odds
you know why?
because she is a woman.

How do I manage my stress nowadays?

To manage my family, I must take care of my self first. I go to gym almost everyday and sometimes pamper my self with lots of books (filipino and foreign authors~ and I splurged buying them ng pakyawan. So what I do is that I have my list and knows what to buy already.
One thing that my mom would hate to see. She will tell me na sa dami ng naghihirap sa mundo how can I be insensitive. I will answer her naman na Mom naghihirap din ako but I just cant afford not to have these. I've been working hard for these books Mom.
She'll know when to give up. Alam nya that she could never win debating to me sa ganitong topic. GHoosH....
Eeeee!!!! (napasigaw lang po.)
I'm still overwhelmed by Martha Cecilia's tagalog romance novel. Pinakyaw ko kaya lahat ng Kristine Series nya kaya napasimangot na si Mommy. Some were already forwarded to my ganggang Jei. Jei find it mushy to read them.... but.... it do makes me happy as in super happy kasi until now I'm still imagining the characters! Nainlove tuloy ako ulit.
With Paulo Coelho's book naman is different. Of course I love him thats why I have a complete copy of his books. Iba naman yung dating ni Paulo, I'm learning from his words. With Martha's book, she simply makes me smile all day. Hayyy.... that's what makes me young.
So how do I managed my stress?
'la lang, gawin ko lang ko lang talaga what would make me happy. basta ba hindi ako nakakaapak ng iba. Bakit ko naman pipigilang maging masaya.
Si Mommy talaga, dami pang sinabi, napaemote tuloy ako.
Hmm... makabasa na nga uli.

Unsaon man sa pagpunit

Sa akong damgo nga nawinggit

Kalami ba laparuhon sa kapalaran

Gwapa man unta ko

Talented pa gyud kaayo

Unya nganu kalisud dakpun

Sa akong mga damgo

Kanus-a pa man gyud ka ha ko mahimong artista?

Hayyysss…maskin na lang unta to’g kuntrabida

Kagu-ol

(Salamat usab sa ariyus Jo.... ganahan man ko sa tanan mao dili na lang nako ibaligya. Tan-awa ayyy...aku nang gisuot ang pinka ganahan nako. Naibog ang maestra ni Bien, palitun unta niya pero wahh..di ko oi.,..ganahan ko ani no?)

GiRlFrIeNd ~ a tag from bes

It hits me! I was reminded of the bestfriends I have made all through my 30 years. Some are gone, missing, but not forgotten and the others remain. Thank you Bes for this touching tag. Wondrous....wondroussss...

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another, 'Let's fight together,'
Another, 'Let's walk away together.'

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier, Another the wind beneath your wings.
It may all be wrapped up in one woman, But for many, it's wrapped up in several...
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
a couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbor,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.
So whether they've been your friend for 20 minutes or 20 years,
AND ONLY IF YOU'D LIKE TO,
Pass this on to the women who has a place in your life/lives.....
I'd like to tag my girlfriends Jei and Lae. Mwahhhh...

Letting your child be....

What can I do as to let my son be himself? Perhaps it is by not planning too much for him but standing back and getting to know him more. Everyday there is always something new in him. My mom told me that I may not even noticed it but I am becoming a push-over mommy to Bien and I would say "Huh? Impossible!"

Actually Mom is right. Baka nga di ko lang napapansin. Masyado akong naprapraning na top 15 lang sya. Di yata ako mapalagay doon na sa totoo lang as if yun na lang ba talaga ang importante. I should have known na I am only here to guide and protect him and to help him map out his life and personality. Hindi para diktahan sya at i-hulma sa kung anung klaseng tao ko sya gustong maging.

I am proud of him but I am honestly getting too much. Too much because when I scolded him yesterday I said something that also surprised me. My baby was hurt. He cried silently and it breaks my heart. I regret it. Bumabawi nga ako today. I should not let him doubt that he's loved~ simply for being himself.

Today I just got home from school having all the test results of my son together with my brother Darwin who also had the test-result of her daughter Lean. Lean's test result is simply horrible. As in! But as soon as my niece approached his Dad, he said "Lean, we're very proud of you, you did very well!" Lean smiled back at him happily.
You see what I learned here?
SOME THINGS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN OUR OWN STANDARDS AND GOAL.
Tangee talaga ako minsan. Kelangan ko raw manood ng "SIS" ng GMA pahabol ng mommy ko.

I also have a version of your bird flocking article Bes!
Maybe that day we have the same thought (assuming nga parehas ang petsa sa atung huna huna~ hahaha keya lang ako ay naglalakad pauwi samantalang nakaupo ka naman at nagmumuni-muni... Nakkssss para kanino keyaaa>>>)

Yung mga ibon parang they're keeping their company. One day, let's be like them, I miss spending my whole day and whole night with you Besfren. The Matina and Dacoville bonding~~~ hayyyy ang sarappp.

I'm honestly feeling bad today having learned that from top 1 in the first grading, he is now in the 15th.
Wow. I hate this feeling. Only the feeling. It's not nice.
I love my son all the more now. It is not him that disappoints me but my self. I just realized what a pushy mom I am to him. Sobss...
I expected too much from Bien . All this time, I have expected too much from him. Kawawa naman pala siya, it is hard pa naman to live up in the expectations espcially coming from the people you love the most. I must have knew it because I've been there in that situations many times in the past.
In the past grading, I was not so strict and so focus on him. I just let him do his thing. I could see the difference. The playful Bien who tends to prioritize computer games and playing and the Bien who would wake up early and do his schoolworks. I would rather wanna see the two Bien. The playful one and the responsible kid. He must now learn the value of time management.Kelangan ko na yatang ituro yun at his age now.
In one of our talks today he told me that all his scores were because of his poor concentration in the class. He can not help to talk with his classmates, play during activity time, and not just listening. He laid to me his new plans and schedule on how to cope up. And I said to myself " Ayy...kawawa naman. Alam pala niya ang kanyang pagkakamali."
I tried to be cool in front of him. Assuring him that things are all the same. Okey lang. Kasi baka kako pag nakita nyang sad ako, he will feel more sadder.
He was smiling at me when I was about to left him inside the classroom when he calls my name.
"Mom!"
"Oh, why? You go back to your chair now."
"Mom. I'm happy."
"Bakit" I asked him
"Kasi your a good mom. Di mo ako pinapababayaan." He added.
Hala ka oiiist.... I feel like crying. Kasi I'm actually disappointed. Itinago ko lang sa kanya."
"Syempre.... you are my son. Kung ano lang yung kaya mo, doon lang tayo." I told him.
"Kaya ko yang lahat Mom. Kaya ko talaga." He answered smiling.
"Oo naman. Sige na, balik na sa chair."

I feel better.
Why would asked for more?

To be with someone you love is something that makes you a complete person though sometimes there are misunderstandings yet at the end of the day both of you tried to tidy things up.
Today my whole family spent quality time on a beach.
My Dad even in his busiest schedule makes our holiday purfecct!!!
We started our day at 6:00 am and we got back home (from the beach eyyy...) at around 1:00 pm.
Bien was so tired so he was sleeping the whole day. Ervien and I spend an hours watching SOP (an afternoon program of Channel 7-GMA). We just missed doing simple things like this ...just like old times when we were still single and just u'know being so comfortable doing nothing together.
Not that because we are more happier before but things are different right now. Iba na ang takbo ng utak.... future-oriented na kumbaga. So Dad's work in the other city is just a part of the sacrifices. Sacrifice because Bien is growing up without Dad in his side every day. Though the kid naman is smart enough to understand the situation.
Well going back to the watching TV moment namin together~~~ We do appreciate the show SOP. Kaming dalawa ni Dad kasi for us halos lahat yata ng talent eh total performer. They know how to sing and dance. It is like watching a concert on TV. The great part of that show yesterday was when Jolina and her other companions were singing. Pati si hubby na-impressed. Oo nga, hindi nga kumupas si Jolins. hehehehe...~~~ syensya na sa kababawan. I also like the show because 80's 'yung fashion na isinusuot nila dun and that includes the music that they were singing.
Anything about 80's brings me back my happy childhood and teenage years.

Witchy-earings

I love them all. If there's one thing I always wear going out.... well, these kind of earings. I wonder how Joan perfectly knew my taste. ~~~with a big grin face~~~
Once again Jo, salamat talaga. One day, I will be there to visit you and Judith lalo na siguro kapag andyan na si besfren Eves.
This picture is for Lae. Mali lang 'yung date ng dig cam ko kasi di ko pa naadjust~hehee~~ Now you will know bakit witchy....hihihi!

Thanks for the witchy-like earings Joan and to the rice milk creams you've sent me from Thailand. I like them so muchhh....
wish I was there with you and Evelyn during your visit in Davao.
Sobbsssss..... di nagkatugma ang schedule natin.
but here are my kissesss Jo.... muwahhhh.....
I am 100 percent satisfied with my goodiesss!!!!

Disqualified

Brandon: Makainis ka man Bien. We were disqualified again because of you. Dapat kasi frog jumping ang ginawa mo. Tuloy talo tayo.

Bien: What? (ee pinalaki pa ang mata habang nakatitig sa nanunumbat na si Brandon)
T-rex jumping yung ginawa ko oi. I was so fast,can't you see.

Brandon: (Nakangiti na) Di naman na-follow yung instruction kaya disqualified tayo.

Bien: Hayy... anu ba yan! (Dahan -dahan na medyo may diin ang boses nyang sagot na para bang siya ang leader ng mga sigang bata sa kanto ~hihihi) Bakit kasi may instruction pa (pagigil nyang sinabi).

At eto ang reaksiyun ko.

Haaaaa.... maka-shockk kasi parang ako pala itong batang ito. Inis sa instructions. Di sumusunod sa eksaktong rules. Amazing talaga. Sometimes you could see your self to the little ones. Kawawa pala tingnan yung mga taong me sariling mundo tulad ko. Ahahahahaha
So wat? Cocow~nut?
But seriously, I've got some working to do. Di puwedeng mamana ni Bien ang ugaling yan sa akin.
He must be like his Dad. I'm proud to say na talagang obedient at pasensyoso sa mga rules and regulations ang Daddy~ ang layo ko kaya sa kanya. Wala po akong pasensya~ nakaka-guilty naman na ito yung nakikita ni Bien na ugali ko... Nyaaayyy~~~ di pwede ~~~ di talaga pwedee kaya kelangan kong magbago.

It was long ago when I've seen my self sleeping in bed. I realized that having a soul is true. My being nocturnal started there. I've always been scared to sleep but human as I am~ I have no choice but satiate my needs. I sleep.
In the middle of the night I felt so hungry and decided to sneak around the kitchen~ find something to eat. Suddenly, when I looked at my bed, I saw my self still sleeping. It surprised me! Thrilled all my senses (and so, the soul has still a feeling huh? I wonder.) I closed my eyes and concentrated on my willingness to go back to my body. I prayed so hard because I still wanted to live. I know that if I can't come back, it will be the end of my life. And there, when I opened my eyes, I'm in my fleshy sexy (~~) body again.
It could only be a dream. . .
Who knows?
But I believed it is more than a dream. I know it happens.

One time when Daddy asked me if I only spend 2 hours sleeping all day
I just ignored him and shrugged my shoulder. Napansin nya pala.

So in my solitary nights, I have my books to accompany me. My music. My PC. And my movies.

Actually this was the first time where I could not help my son.
I was just only an onlooker. Highly prohibited to be available anytime he needed me.
It was only himself that was there to depend on.
Exaggerated maybe but it was like watching a horror film seeing my son walking in the rope tied up in a 10 feet high trees. Nanlamig ako and I found my self cheering him like big fan of Bien (actually, I am a fan)“Go Bien Go!!!

The One

When I attended the parental meeting last time the teacher told me lots of funny thing Bien had done during the class. I really had fun hearing those things and imagine how excited I am to blog all those.

Here's one:

The lesson was all about how to save the Pasig River. Bien raised his right hand and answered the question on how is he going to save the river.

Bien: Teacher, I will gather all my friends like Vincent (then he look at where Vincent is)
the good one, he added, Brandon the smart one, Cammille ( while smiling and watching
the girl) my girlfriend, my only one and Gypsy, the fat one ( the class were all laughing
when he mentioned the name of Gypsy like the way they giggles when he said the
Cammille is his one and only) to clean the Pasig River.

Teacher: Very good Bien. You were able to use some adjectives in your answer. What about
you? What can you say about your self ?

Bien: Me? I'm the one.... (he said that daw proudly)

Sangkatirbang trabaho ang ginagawa ko these days that I could not even afford to spend time blogging. Hays... para naman akong nagpapayaman nito palagi~~~ dyuske..sana nga magkatotoo. Anyways, di naman dahil sa napaka materyoso kong tao kundi wala lang~~ what if one day eh yumaman talaga ako nO? Anu kaya ang bibilhin ko? Siguro kung magpapakanoble ako, hmmm... me pagkakabusyhan akung charity, pero kung mapapakabad naman ako, i-mamadyung ko na lang ang subra subra kong pera~ hehehehe~ anu ba tong naiisip ko~ ansama!!!!
Ah ewan, wala lang akong maisip. Hmp!
My friend Matet lumipad na pajapan the other week. Yun iniexpect ko na kasi we just have a sayonara party before she left. Itong lipad naman ni Daisy, yung other friend ko pa-Dubai...yun doon ako medyo nagulat. Di ko kasi alam. Kung di ko pa naopen ang email ko today, nakuuu di ko malalaman. Ang lungkot kasi unti-unti ng nagsipaglabasan yung ibang mga friends ko pati pala yung di ko paburitong brother~ nagmigrate na rin sa Canada. Malungkot nga ang mommy. Malayo na sila.
Kwento ko lang, I've never been close to my brother. Ewan kung bakit basta mutual yung feelings namin. We dont have this LOVE thing foe each other. 3 days before he left the country he stayed in the house. Spending time ke mom and dad. He tried to talk to me, pero I just ignore him. Alam mo na, me history ng painful experience ako sa kanya. So I just treat him invincible. Nung paalis na sya, simple goodbyes lang. Ni hindi nga inihatid ng mom. My cousin Bimbim just hugged him and told him na mag-ingat. Wala akong na-feel. Kiber!
Two days after that, I saw my mom fixing the things left by my brother in his room. Nakita ko ang tears nya. She was crying. Booshiitt... napaiyakn tuloy ako.
"Mommy anu ka ba, ba't iiyak-iyak ka dyan?"
"Na-miss ko bigla si Erwin eh." My mom replied
"Ang corny-corny mo." sabi ko uli sa kanya sabay hug.
"Huwag ka na kasing mag-ayos ng gamit nya."
Pinagpatuloy ng mommy ang pag-aayos.
I know she wanted to be alone and so I left her crying.

Sad no? Iba talaga ang ina.

Paano kaya kung kami naman ang aalis?
Kalungkot siguro.......
Pero alam nyo, I'm so excited to leave the country.

Will of the wind

My best friend Evelyn knows how much I abhorred Jolina Magdangal during “Ang TV” years and even during the existence of our college blues. It worried me when all her movies get in to a box office hit. I hated her fashion, acting, performance and everything and anything about her. As you all know, I am a 100 percent Judayday fanatic and it happens that she was her rival so for an obvious reason, you know why I dislike her.

Through all these years, I’ve seen her growing up, kasabayan pa nga yata natin eh. Until my mom told me na napakabait at napakabuting anak yang si Jolina parang si Juday din. Oo nga naman. Napagtanto ko rin. But that was all about her. Nakalimutan ko na si Jolina after that talk from Mom except ke Juday. Still, Lovi’s tradition of watching judayday’s movie on it’s first day and first hour of the showing date ay di pa rin namamatay until now.

It was the Korean telenovela KimSamSoon aired in GMA7 that I truly became Jolina’s fan. I didn’t knew that she was the one pala singing the themesong until my best friend told me na si Jolina nga ang singer while we were having a snack in SM City Davao some years ago. I could still remember the smile in my bestfriend’s face. Unbelieving nga giganahan na diay kong Jolens. I feel inlove with the song “Maybe it’s you” and also fall in love with the one who’s singing it. I even bought the album !

Her new MTV from the movie ITALY captures me just today while watching the midnight news. Nyee…… fan na gyud diay kong Jolina. Maybe its because I’ve seen her working with Juday in Quija movie and aside from that she is really oozing with talent.

I’d like to dedicate this new song from Jolens to my bestfriend Eves. Katulad din ‘nung Maybe it’s you na awitin Bes na ikaw kaagad-agad ang unang taong sumagi sa isipan ko while watching the film. Di ko alam kung bakit. Connected kaya? Hehehe
Love you bes, paramdam ka naman.
Nawalan na rin ako ng gana sa blogging after you signed off.
But I stayed for Jayvee and Joan.
~~Sobs~~


My love for my best friend is a mystery.
It’s always coming and it doesn’t goes.
I long for our old good and bad times Bes.
I wish to see you again.
‘kainis Bes… na-miss na talaga kita ng sobra.
I was actually crying while listening to Jolina’s song.
Lukaret, na-miss mo rin kaya ako?

I'm still overwhelmed with Hillary's wit. Aw, she got me!

Hillary Clinton

This bring a dramatic change in my views to the politicians. There are still some who serves genuinely. For me, she's a woman of remarkable intellect. I've never seen a leader like her who understands so clearly the interest of her country.

I wish

Three years ago she was misunderstood by many including me.
Since she's a family, we tried fixing her life believing that she was in a total shit at that time.
When I went back to Gensan I became her guardian. It was a relief after a year of discipline when we started seeing her having a new perspective in life. I could imagine how my Mom-in-law thank everybody who became part of our girl's changes. She had shown to us how responsible she is by having an excellent grades. So we decided to give her back the freedom she used to enjoy. I wasn't happy about the new set-up but what can I do? I don't wanna look like a kontrabida in there lives~ so I keep quite.
Today I've got the shocking news that she is two months pregnant. She went back to Davao to tell her mom about it without my knowledge of her situation. Things were so fast. Naguluhan nga ako dahil the last thing I know was that she came back home here but not with us. She is with her boyfriend. The 3rd year college student who is the father of her child. The family until now were disoriented. My Mom-in-law is heartbroken. It was a failure on my part too but God knows I did my best.
I have not slept for nights thinking about my sister-in-law. I am glad that she called -up today thru phone to ask for an apology. I don't know why, but I could sense hopw happy she is in the other phone line. I could even picture out her beautiful face smiling while we are having our talks. We've talk about her feelings, fears, dreams, and happiness. She even told me how she felt obligated being an adopted child in the family. How her freedom was curtailed and how weak she was for not managing her life well and for always depending on somebody else's to survive.

Now she said that she's happy and I could feel it.
A slow smile spread across my face when she told me to look for the song posted below.
It would help me understand how she felt since the day she discovered that she's only an adopted sister of my husband. Though she knew she was loved and was given everything a daughter and a sister could ever have, she felt empty, tied-up, and obligated.

I cried.... after watching the MTV.
She was right. Now I understand her completely.