Nov 30, 2007

For Gladys Muana gyapun....


This one is exclusively awarded to my friend Gladys. While watching this photo my friend, you will be missing your happy times!!!!

Nov 22, 2007

I remember my good friend

There's a friend of mine who dont believe in God's existence and he always made his point greatly clear in that position. Some of my officemates began to pray for him. Every time we happen to be together and there was a prayer they will include him in it. But I wanted to go further. So I took my one step and we became very good friends. He told me his stories and in my own little ways, I started to understand him. He was just scared. And in my own idea (forgive me goodfriend) it was only his defense mechanism to......(mmmmm okey, i will not go further..)
I believed that deep in his heart, there is God.

In one of our seminar-workshop, an officemate approached him and said this: " I want you to know that I am concerned about you and I am praying for your salvation and that I can not bear you to be lost."

For me, that was a stopper.
I can not argue with her. I respect her. Somehow my friend must be very thankful because this woman spend her time telling about God's existence. She was very concerned (maybe). But you know in my own thoughts, I failed to feel her sincerity but opppsss who am I to judged her?

Her words only stopped me because I dont find it being Christian if she tend to envy other people and will do everything under her control to step on other people's head just to remain powerful in our office. (As in stepping in one's head because she loves to hit your reputation as a worker and as a person).

This woman during my stay for about six years in the office did plenty of nasty things not only to my good friend but to my other officemates as well. I do not know if she was aware that at that time almost everyone hates her. Its just that other people can not bring out their feelings against her for fear of something I can not figure.

I think I was one of those who just keep silent. If I was afraid of losing my job, I dont know.
When I resigned, the only reason was my son needs my time and I was no longer happy working with them.
But you know God has a purpose for everything. I gained back my confidence and my self intact.

My good friend though has a bad experience during those times has now regained back his reputation. I was there when he lost his job. I wanted to support his fight but well maybe, I was scared too. So he just left the office and continue on his life.

Now looking back, being prayerful is not a guarantee that you are a good person.
Our prayers wont count if we are not concern to other people's welfare and when our heart is full of fears, envy and pride.

On the other hand, my good friend and I had our own family and job now. We are both happy with our own chosen profession and was also blessed with good and attractive partners.
We have not talked for a long time now but the last time I heard about his belief was when I attended his wedding day. It's not a church wedding.
I was smiling silently when the Judge who married them asked him why he dont believed in God?
I am so sure that he answered the Judge the way he answered me 10 years ago.
I am smiling now as I end my article today.
Our friendship is one of the best thing that ever happened to me.
Mind you, he was my mentor in Adobe photoshop. Very Talented,Weirdeee and a real aRtiSt.

Twelve Months

The rules of my new homework which was tagged to me by my sweet friend Salve are as follows:

1.Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
2.Copy-paste the traits for all the twelve months (see below).
3.Pick your month of birth.
4.Highlight the traits that apply to you.
5.Tag 12 people and let them know by visiting their blogs and leaving a comment for
them.
6.Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve done it!
I am tagging Parisukat, Jayvee, Eves,Sweety, TK , genetics, Twerlyn, situlas, recel, Denz, ygens, and Lira.

A
pril’s flavor of the month LOVIELLY
(I love you ME and the rest of the April babies… ngorkkks)

Character

Smart. Kind –hearted and naturally attractive. They uses their passion to attract people and wit to distract the opponent. They are sociable and loves to read a lot. Self-proclaimed artist, writer, performer and anything their creative mind could think about. They also tend to follow their feelings in almost everything they do. Observant, capable and resourceful. All this qualities laid a firm foundation in whatever career they pick. With their determination and perseverance they normally achieve their objective. Usually respected by subordinates and is surrounded with loyal and faithful friends. Not meticulous enough and lack attention to details. They appear to be a little careless.

Love and Marriage
Attractive (Bias… bweheheh) and loveable person. Optimistic and caring for others. They will do anything to please their loved one and usually their feelings are reciprocated. They also enjoy successful and good relations with the opposite sex. Veryyyy romantic by nature and sometimes they tend to be unrealistic.


The Twelve Months

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.
(Witch dont really follow instruction.... tsorii folks! hir hir hir)

I was awarded!!!


I am always grateful to you Fren Lerlyn. You make me feel important all the time. Thank you from the bottom of my kitten heart!!!
I will share this award to my favorite blogwriter ever.... PARISUKAT, my bestfriend Eves, my newly operated sexy friend Nancang and to my new friend Genetic. We are all SOMEBODY in our own field.

PS
Click this one to post in your house.
(The bloggerframe above is a bit personalized)

Nov 19, 2007

Lydia Andrea


Her name Lydia was taken from my grandmother (the mommy of my father) who died long time ago and I even was not lucky enough to feel her in person. She is my Lola Lydia Patricio (the name Andrea came from my father's ... ANDREW).

Last November 1, 2007, during our padasal (prayer) for our departed love ones, the woman who lead the padasal uttered the name of Lydia referring to my lola.
This little girl abruptly asked my mommy why she heard her name.
My mom sweetly smiled at her and told her that the prayer is for our lola not hers.
Le-an (Lydia's nickname) shouted to everybody that her name is not a name of a dead person.
"Dili lagi himatay ang pangalan nako!!!!" Everybody laughed at her gestures. She was really very cute.
"Dili gyud ko Lydia....muundang nako sa school lagii..." he shouted

One week after that when she arrived from school, Le-an was crying so hard.
She entered my room and told me that she dont want to go to school anymore.
I was a bit worried about what happen to her in school so I asked her why.
She answered to me that her teacher told her to write her name Lydia in a paper.

"Dili lagiii koooo" desperately she said
" Why ? What name do you like di-ay?" I asked her
"Loviellyjoy akong gusto!" she exclaimed
I was smiling.
How sweet ba diay ning little girla oi.
"Aba at gusto mo pang agawin name ko haaa...." I told her.
"Basta Tita, basta.... loviellyjoy na ko."

Well, what can I do? Ako na ang impostora karun.

Nov 18, 2007

Why do I blog

Marie thanks for sharing this one to me.


1. How long have you been blogging?
My on and off blogging started last year. It was only this month when I started blogging almost everyday. I have now my favorite bloghouse like the one from Parisukat, Salve, Gladys, Nancy, Eves and a lot more. I enjoy reading their blogs. It keeps my day bright and I always find my self smiling everytime I finished reading their articles.

2. What inspired you to start a blog and who are your mentors?
It was my best friend Evelyn Sularte who inspired me to try blogging. I was not interested because I still can not give up my notebook journal until I found the site of my good friend joel… since then I was so inspired writing my blogs to connect with them everyday but I have no mentor….. (subo…nagkamang gyud ko…)

3. Are you trying to make money online, or just doing it for fun?
Well, I tried to make money here but something is always wrong in my application. I always get rejected hehehee.. but its okey.. really!!! I just enjoy writing some of my thoughts and making friends here and most of all I tend to admire Filipino writers. Its very inspiring knowing that plenty of Filipinos are really talented.

4. Tell me 3 things you LOVE about being online.
Having a good friend here is enough to keep my mind in peace;
Knowing someone with talent specially in writing and admiring their creativity makes me alive and giggling and lastly I can express anything my heart desires with out ANY restrictions. Manipulating my own blog with out fearing mistakes is a heavenly feeling.

5. Tell me 3 things you STRUGGLE within the online world.
I can not follow instructions (shiittt…. Attention deficit man tingali ko, ayyy.. abaw gid! Purbida!)
I can not edit my own templates,
I always fail joining advertising stuff and etc…
I find my self in Kinder 1 for now.
Though I still enjoy everything even my being so Jurassic about some of its application.

I hope you enjoy my answers. Now I want to hear something from Lira, Salve and Iceyelo

Nov 17, 2007

Rains

I stayed at home today and postponed my trip to Davao.
Haaa...heavy rain, thunder, flood in Puting Bato here in Barangay Calumpang General Santos caused the evacuation of some residents to Barangay Gym delayed my plan.

(Purok Puting Bato is a place heavily populated. Full of voters. The area is within the seashore of Saranggani Bay located in one of the largest barangay in GSC.)

Poor children.
I actually saw them carrying their own things.
A family holding hands together, helping each other walking against the flood while saving some things they could still used.

These people are squatters.
Filipino who have not owned even a piece of land in our own country.
Two years ago the LGU in GSC relocated them already.
Majority of them sold the land awarded to them by our government and decided to go back in Puting Bato. I personally know some of them.

It is just a cycle.
You relocate them
They will sell the land awarded to them
and go back to being a squatter.

My God...
Only here in my beloved Country.
Anyway, I am still hopeful that things will get better soon.

Nov 15, 2007

Happy Sight in many things

- anne shannon demarest - 1965

Walking in the Summer rain,
Noisy wee-folk in their play,
In hush that stills a boisterous day,
In waterbeads on windowpane.

In bell-clear tones when robin sings,
Dew-kissed web a spider weaves,
Rich and gold of Autumn leaves,
And fairy-flakes that Winter brings.

A gentle pat upon my cheek,
In glancing moonbeams on a lake,
In happy laughter children make
While wading in a rushing creek.

In wind that plays in willow trees,
And angel voices in a choir,
The crackle of an open fire,
And tulips nodding in the breeze.

In silky strands of milkweed pod,
In sparkling grains of sea-washed sand,
The courteoous clasp of Friendship's hand,
And in a dialogue with God.
delight i find in many things





My heart is now full of hope.
Like a child, I can see many beautiful things around me.
Playing with Bien and Lean make me appreciate the simplicity of life.
The two of them can also make me cry.
They can also make me laugh so easy.
They always make my heart soft flavored with an apple
and yet...
they also bring-out the worst in me
they can make me mad
monstrous
furious
but with them my life is complete.
I always feel the happy grin in my face
when I hang out with them.

Friendship all over the world

This is from my good friend Twerl. Thank you again for this one haaa.... Appreciate gyud nako ni amiga.






No man is an island
No man can live alone

Ang corny koooooo
Shockssss....
Darn.....
Its true.

I used to live alone.
Nerd as I can be
No less showing there be ahahahahahaaahhh
Who.... cares?
They have nothing to do with me

Now looking back
I was so bitter
I was so sad
My world
seems so blue

I have wasted my time when I was a bit younger
but anyways, it is not too late....

This blogworld, widen my being
I am a happy person now

Thanks to all of you
who visits me
despite their busy schedule

You give me blood to drink
You give me flesh to eat
Now I am a happy vampire
Pretending to be a charing witch.. heheeeh

Nov 14, 2007

Emily Dickinson

Why I Like her?

I was outwitted with her phrase about herself:
My hair is bold like the chestnut burr; and my eyes, like the sherry in the glass that the guest leaves.

And above all, I love her poem about love... hahhhahhha
As if I am a sad woman! But somewhere in my heart believes that she was a happy woman.

Another one from her


Part Three: Love

XVI

I ’M wife; I ’ve finished that,
That other state;
I ’m Czar, I ’m woman now:
It ’s safer so.

How odd the girl’s life looks 5
Behind this soft eclipse!
I think that earth seems so
To those in heaven now.

This being comfort, then
That other kind was pain; 10
But why compare?
I ’m wife! stop there!

She is mystical, a witchy-like
A fearless poet
Genuine to her words
For me she is the poet of the unpoetic
She is deep
You think you can read her
But there’s more… (My name witchyboop was taken from her and Bettyboop. Natripan lang... pero mahal ko yang dalawang character na yan. Kwedaw ka..)
More

The Road Less Traveled

Robert Frost

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 20


There are roads that I have taken for granted. Sometimes, I look back and wonder "what if". But I know that I have done the best (at that time) decision to make the situation right.
My new friend Salve posted a poem from Robert Frost. I never Like him during my college days in my literature subject. I was loyal to Emily Dickinson Nyahahahaha

This one from RF reminds me of my earlier days....
Hmmmm.... kung me Pinoy Big Brother kaya nun... sasali talaga ako.
Hahahahaha... anung koneksiyon, eh pwede pa naman ngayon. Jowk!!!
Wala lang maisip today.
Enjoy the poem posted and I hope you will also look back and post your "what if's" in life fellow bloggers.

Nov 13, 2007

What kind of flower are you

Got this from my delicious (hehehehe masagpaan gyud ta ani bah....) and beautiful friend of mine, Lerlyn....
This is truly me:

You Are a Daisy

You see the world with an artist's eye.
Finding beauty is easy for you - even in the dullest of moments.
You notice all of the colors of the world, from fresh grass to sunsets.
You are a total optimist and hedonist. You love to drink life in.

Now I am asking Jei, Eves and Nancy to try this.
Have fun!!!

Nov 12, 2007

Change

Change is to one woman resigning in work
To another the beginning of a new opportunity
Change is the shifting of highschool bestfriend
To a new found life time friends

Change is the moving of one’s age
And the development in their body
It’s the coming of maturity
A realization of self importance

It’s taking one step at a time
Specially in the emotions of each person’s heart
But in the end it is the change that gives us hope

Hope to dream
Hope to be happy
And hope to live our life together
with the person we truly love

(thanks for dedicating to me your new post Jei. You are one of the best)

An ode to Twerlyn

It is a wonder to know someone like Twerlyn
She is not the ego-centric old witch in Snow White fairytale
Who revealed in the process of gazing into her mirror
by asking who is the fairest of them all
She can give you words that will easily make you love her
She will make you feel simple
She will make you feel fresh
She will never frightens your being
She is one inspiration indeed

Why she is so friendly
Why she is so true
And above all these
Why she is so beautiful
Maybe because she is created
To make the world untwisted

She make you feel loved
Because she lives in love

She has meaning to me
I am experiencing her now
Making love to her blog
Making friends on her existence

You are delicious...
Where did you came from?

Let love flow

Don’t deny your love
Let it flow
In all parts of your body

Give it a chance
Make your love show
In your smile or maybe in your looks

A little love
Will make us grow
Make them feel it now

Making love can be unseen
Tender touch, softee voice
It means so much

Let our love grow
Everywhere freely
To silence love
Makes us odd
And grow old so bad

Nov 11, 2007

I like this song





I had a great time reading this in a magazine.
Parang ako man oi, ganito rin. Try to read this also fellow bloggers. Have fun!!
!


I don't wanna do the dishes
I don't wanna do the wash
I sprinkled clothes a week ago
And now my iron is lost!

I don't wanna rattle pots
I don't wanna rattle pans
I see the mail light flashin
I wanna chat with friends!

Oh, the table needs some dusting
and the floor could sure be mopped
But I know if I get started
there'll be no place to stop.

The closets are so full
things are falling off the shelves
I wish for cleaning fairies
and magic little elves.

They could sprinkle fairy dust
and twitch their little nose
The windows would be sparkling
I would have no dirty clothes.

Oh, I know that I'm just dreamin
My head is in the sky
I must cook that meat that's graying
and bake that apple pie.

The hubby needs a bath
the dog needs attention
Oh... the other way around I mean
my brain is in suspension



I am runnin round in circles
I am getting nothing done,
I keep thinking of my web
I am missing all the fun!

Well, I know I'm not addicted
Though I hear that all the time
But I quess this stuff can wait on me
Cause today I'll be ON LINE!!!

My motto in life

I've been living in this words for years...

Life is good!!!

HYPOCHONDRIA ( Charlotte Anselmo)

I really can't tell you the name of my friend who really think he is sick.
Many doctors had already told him that there was nothing wrong with him.
I hope this article would be a help.Mmm... Nancang? dont worry... its not you , of course. hehheee


What in the world is that you ask..
I shall endeavor to explain
Tis someone who thinks they're always sick
Everyday they find a new pain!
Now all of us...to some degree
Suffer with this disease
But some of us are worse than others
So it's them we often tease!
I have a friend, I shall not name
Who often feels quite ill,
Off to the doctor he will race
To get a different pill!

The rest of us, his friends I mean
Are sometimes kind of bad
We laugh behind his back you see
When really, it is so sad!
So a lesson now we had to learn
And we learned it the hard way,
We found out something shocking
Our poor friend.....died yesterday!
I guess he had the last laugh
His mind was pretty quick
For on his tomb was written...
"I told you I was sick!"

More of me (From Lira)

* 1. What is your husband's name? E.R.V.I.E.N

* 2. What color underwear are you wearing now? B.L.A.C.K

* 3. What are you listening to right now? ANG PROBINSYANA NA GWAPA

* 4. What are the last 4 digits in your cell number? 5432

* 5. What was the last thing you ate? CARROT JUICE And RADISH CAKE

* 6.If you were a crayon what color would you be? B.L.A.C.K

* 7. How is the weather right now? S.U.N.N.Y D.A.Y

* 8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? C.L.I.E.N.T

* 9. The first thing you notice about the opposite/preferred sex? W.I.T.S

* 10. Favorite type of Food? >>>Vegetarian dish

This tag is forwarded to Nancy and Jayvee.

Climb Until Your Dream Comes True

For my fren jei... got this from a card yesterday.
It says everything I wanna tell you about your dreams.
DOnt give up.... you are talented.


Climb Until Your Dream Comes True
Often your tasks will be many,
and more than you think you can do
Often the road will be rugged
and the hills insurmountable, too
Always remember, the hills ahead
Are never as steep as they seem,
And with faith in your heart start upward
And climb 'till you reach your dream,
Nothing in life that is worthy
Is ever too hard to achieve
If you have the courage to try it
And you have the faith to believe...
Faith is a force that is greater
Than knowledge or power or skill
And many defeats turn to triumph
If you trust in God's wisdom and will
Faith is a mover of mountains,
There's nothing that God cannot do,
So start out today with faith in your heart
And Climb Until Your Dream Comes True.
~ HELEN STEINER RICE ~

Nov 10, 2007

Video projects

Tani akun na lang ini nga idea para nagamit ko sang gaeskwela ako sa college.
Not that I dont like our video production. Highest din naman kami noon.
It's just that I reallyyy like this MTV.
Very original.
To the maker of this, Hands uppp..... KAmayad mayad gid sa imo.
Watch this video pls. Malipay ka na maham-ut ka pa.

To my fellow bloggers.... this is only for fun.

Ang probinsyana na gwapa

I exercised this MTV today. I love the music and its dancing steps. I have fun with my cousins doing this and we also have created our own steps....

Love listens,love hears

In an interesting book by Alexandra Davis-Neel and Lama Yongden, The secret Oral Teachings in Tibetan Buddhist Sects, the author tells how she approached a learned Tibetan regarding her plan to write the book. The wise man answer for me is both amusing and illustrative of point.

He says “Waste of time. The great majority readers and hearers are the same all over the world. I have no doubt that the people in your country are like those I have met in China and India, and these latter were just like Tibetans.

If you speak to them of profound truths they yawn, and if they dare, they leave you but if you tell them absurd fables, they are all eyes and ears. They wish the doctrines preached to them, whether religious, philosophic, or social, to be agreeable, to be consistent with their conceptions, to satisfy themselves in their inclinations, in fact that they find themselves in them, and that they feel themselves approved by them.”


For me, this is true. I am in fact one of those who wasted time.

In addition to my confusion, words often mean different things to a different people. In the play The American Dream (a stage play I downloaded in the net last night) there was a scene portrayed by Edward Albee that’s says.
“My checkboard trying to communicate with your monopolygame.”
It is a conversation between a man and his wife. The wife here is discussing in minute detail a shopping episode but the husband was thousand miles away in his own thoughts. Her only punctuation mark was when she stops long enough to ask him to repeat perfectly what she has said. The wife wants to be certain he has heard.
To be sure, he has not heard a word but he repeats it perfectly.

I find the scene hilarious. Strange that I don’t weep in the scene since I realized that I felt I have been in this situation in my life since I got married.
I think I was wrong. I am a high-maintenance wife. I think I have been asking many things, only considering my self and my depression.
I was the only one thinking he was not listening.Or maybe I only want to believe that he was not listening at all.
If I only truly listened to him (the way my dad listens to my mom)
I could hear him.
His joy.
His cry.
Love listens.
Love hears.
My another realization is that Love is not sex. Of course (this one is for my mother-in-law).
I can not doubt her love to me now. It is so genuine. I honestly love her too .
During my 4 days vacation 2 weeks ago ( October 29-Nov.3)I felt her.
I love her everything. In my experience with her I can say that:
In love, each man is his own personal challenge.
Three years ago, I never thought I could be this sweet to her.
I never thought she could love me like a real daughter.
It is a blessing to have her.
Having a good relationship to my Mama Vicky, reminds me of Antoine Saint-Exupery's "The Little Prince" (Besfren Eves you buy me this book haaa as my pamasko)definition of love as "the process of my leading you back to your self." In this statement, he is confirming his faith in man's ability to guide another to love. He suggest here that a growing SELF brings a growing love.
I hope not to waste our growing love for each other. Since I love her, it is now my responsibility to create joy with her like what I have with my parents and my family. To work in love is to work in joy.
It is easier for me now to love others.
I am stronger.
I am less afraid.
This is an important insight I discovered now.

My only pain is my brother. My love relationship to him started since birth.
If I will die tomorrow, I don't even know what to say to him.
I am not sure but I rather not talk to him.

Mommy told me that love is accepting and understanding.
I must Love him even if he feel unloved.
I must try to understand him even if he thinks he was misunderstood.
But love grows in different rate.
My love for him died.
I don't even know how and why. Or maybe my not being appreciative to his existence is only a resultant to his behavior.
I honestly don’t wish to bridge our gap.
But you see, in love there is hope.
It is always changing and learning.

In the buddhist book I just discussed in the first paragraph, it was said that basic human characteristics includes confusion,egocentricity, pride,envy, even indigestion, disappointment and many more.
To that degree, I am 100 percent human.

(From the right: My elder brother Kuya Owe, my Mom, Baby Lovi and my ever Favorite brother since birth)

Nov 9, 2007

Pito-pito

I just visited my besfren's blog and I find this one cuteee.... so joiners ko karun.

Rule: List of 7. Write 7 random facts about yourself in your blog.

1. Madramang-makwela na maarteng weirdo
2. Mahilig sa fitting lalo na't kulay itim na showee ang cleavage at see-thru ang
dating
3. Napapalitan ang pangalan ng mga kaibigan at kapamilya at kahit ng mga artista o
kung anu -a nong bagay na napag-uusapan pero magkatugma naman ang tunog.
4. Kunyari nakikinig pero di naman pala, pero nakikinig naman talaga kaya lang medyo
di lang talaga nya maintindihan minsan lalo na kapag tinupak maging bruhilda.
5. I just spend my time in a coffee shop. painum -inum lang ng kape habang nag
cha-characterized ng mga taong dumadaan na feeling nya ay nagsusulat sya ng
nobelang ala-Harry potter ang dating... pero di pa nauumpisahan until now..ngee
6. Fashion oriented na me sariling mundo- di naman nang-aagaw ng atensyun, wala lang
feeling impostora , ambisyosa at maldita ang fashion. Ususera..
7. Funny na corny.Hindi sumusunod sa rule. Matigas ang ulo in tagalog, ewan bading
yata sya

Now I am tagging Lira

BS in KCC Mall

Forgetting the pain, we went to KCC Mall together to buy some new books. Then He also bought some pizza and we stayed in Coffee Dream. While drinking my coffee Bien answered the questionnaire I made for him and at the same time eating the pizza and drinking his juice.

He was happy now.
He kissed me all the time.
"Mommy? You love me?" He asked me.
"Why you asked me that? You think I dont love you?" I asked him
"You lovee mee" he said with a big grin on his face.

I wrapped my arms around him so tight and I am scared that he might do it in school. Hurting his classmates when he gets irritated.

I explained to him that hurting is bad.
Then he answered me that yes it is bad. It is not makatao.
I remember his subject in MAKABAYAN. His teacher taught them the KATANGIAN NG BAWAT BATANG PILIPINO. I find it cutee... nakarelate sya.


Bien proved his worth to me once again. He understands. He cares about what is happening around him. Paranoid lang siguro kaming mag asawa dati.
He grabbed my hands and bring me to MC DONALD.
He played in the playhouse with the other kids until he get tired and we went home.

When were home, all his cousins were waiting for him. Buti na lang me paSALUBONG ANG TITA. We sleep together in my room. As in the whole gang sleep with us.

A forgiving BS

While putting some lotion in my son's body inside my room,his words struck me.
As in walay atik.... nakalitan ko sa iyang words.
"Mommy , Happy na ako." He said.
"Why?" I asked him while still crying.
"Kasi si Tito CioCio nagsorry na. Tapos Maxine, Lean , Lj loves me!!!" he answered
Suddenly I saw my two nieces hiding under our bed.
Bien was laughing out loud now. As if nothing worse happened.

Kuya Hurts BS

Today Lj, Maxine , Anjo, BS and Igi Boy (all my nieces and nephew) except for BS (he is my son) went to a store to buy some food to eat for an early morning merienda. Then Bien studied his lessons. He had the tendency to be careless in his examinationbut then again bata pa kasi. So we are starting to train him to manage his time for studying and playing.

During cooking time for our lunch, me and my elder brother were having a funny time together. He was only teaching me the wrong style of cooking caldereta. He was really thinking that I dont know the recipe (heheheee..napahiya tuloy ang kuyaa).

Then I heard my son crying in pain. I should know that he is in pain....
Bien is shouting "aray kooo....aray ko..." and also he was crying. In his voice I felt that he was not only in pain but also he was very scared.

From my Kuya Erwin's room I saw him running to get inside my room. I left my eldest kuya and run to Bien but the door is already closed. My son closed it. He was fearful that his Tito Erwin might follow him to hurt him again.
I knocked the door and called his name.
I tried to sound very calm.
I told him its mommy.
Things are okey now..
I am here..

He opened the door with eyes clouded with big tears continuously falling down on his cheeks.
You know, I tried to keep my feeling but really, I can not help it. When I hugged him, I cried. We cried while we were hugging each other.
If you can only feel every beat of my sons heart, you will hate my brother.

The two of us have unresolved issues.
It was not being talked about.
I dont even remember how it started.
Why we hate each other.
Why the two of us do not spend time even saying hello or hi whenever we passed on each other in any place be it in the mall, in school, in our home or even during our eating time. It has been years... maybe since my birthdate.

Kuya Owe and my mom followed me.

"What happened to my friend? Kawawa naman ang friend ko.." Kuya Owe consoles my son. I have a cute little smile on my face hearing my brother speaking in english. This was the first time I heard him using that language. Though my heart is in pain, I was smiling.

From her garden, mommy was with us.She asked my son if he touches his Tito's thing. Bien in his distress just continue crying. Bien touched my Kuya's mountain bike. He only played the wheel then my brother thrown him the small squared clock. It was his left eye that was hit.

Knowing my mom who is always apologetic , she will never confront my brother. I know she is only waiting for the right time.

I wonder why despite of his ogre attitude God still showered him with blessings (forgive me Lord for questioning you). Kind wife, patient parent, wonderful siblings, intelligent pamangkins, high-paid work, healthy baby boy and many more. Yet, he is still bitter. He is aloof to us (me and my other brothers). He must have millions of hatred molecules for me.

"Mommy, I dont cry now." Bien told me. Then I realized that my room was now crowded. All my nephew and nieces were there consoling my son while no one had ever tried getting near my kuya.

I took Bien to the bathroom. While going downstair, I saw him watching TV in our living room. Frozen face.
"Kuya..." I confronted him
"Okey lang na sinasaktan mo ako nung maga bata pa tayo o kahit nung malalaki na tayong tao pero yung saktan mo ang anak ko, ibang usapan na yan"
I also told him that he could have told me what was wrong. Huwag naman yung sya pa ang manakit sa batang ALAM NAMAN NIYANG ME TRAUMA NA.
While telling him that I wanted top see his face. I wanna know how would he react to me. But I couldn't .....My tears were over flowing.... my voice was trembling.... I was so hurt....a hurt that came from my yesterday and was only triggered today.
I hate him.
I really do hate him.
I only realized that t.o.d.a.y.

In the most positive way I can, I explained to Bien the situation while bathing him.

My brother went inside the bathroom.
To my surprise, I did not feel anything.
Shittt..... ganito pala ang namanhid na.
You are like a stone.
So cold and so still.

I hate him for hurting Bien.
I pretended not to see him.
He was invincible to me.
I despised the day he was born to be my brother.
I can not despised the family I was with, only him.
t was my second eldest brother who actuallyu made my life miserable.
My Mom, Dad, and two other brothers shared with me their love.
I am so thankful for that.

"Love , sorry na talaga" My kuya told me.
Shocks first time na nagsorry.
Ang hari.... nag sorryyy...
"Dapat pala sinabi ko na lang sa yo. Di ko na man napigilan feelings ko." He added.

I did not answered. Forgiving man ako na tipo, pero at that time nag stock-up ANG THROAT KO.

"Okey lang Kuya. Andami ko na sigurong kasalanan sayo ano? Kaya pati anak ko na hyper active hate na hate mo rin. He is still on theraphy, dapat naiintindihan mo yan kasi ikaw naman ang oinakamatalino sa pamilyang ito. " I told him while pretending to busy washing my sons feet.

He get near my son and hold Bien's head.... He said sorry to BS and walked away.

Wow! Shocks... kahit papaano my brother is different now. He knows how to say sorry already!!! I know I am a sweet person, but I was not swept away by him.
Feeling ko he will always be hurting me emotionally.

My first EveR awaRd


Now I realized how good it is to feel when someone gives you an award.
My new friend in blogworld Twerlyn awarded me a NICEAWARD!!!
Thank you so much Kabayan... you just dont know how much you inspired me to blog more.

Its my turn to share this to the following persons:
Jei, the great writer
ygenz, then cute and bubbly teenagepuff
kralsukur, my new friend
and lastly to
urKA-CHIKA

Nov 8, 2007

A lot like Lovi

My friend Jei wrote this article for me.
Feeling ko tuloy ako si Ruffa G.
I feel like a celebrity witch.
Wooowwwww...... I am so importanttttt...(giggles)
Look Bru your such a great writer.
For me , your one of the best.
Thank you for this.


It is just so unwise to judge a person by her looks. No matter how she may give away a loveable and appealing persona to each and every homo sapien she meets, one way or another, she would still be capable of releasing her evil self that lurks around her every cell and atom to deal with its unfortunate prey. On the other hand, a person may have a character of someone who pumps ice, instead of blood, inside her heart but it is likely there’s also some little amount of holiness swimming along her red and white blood cells. This fact simply gives life to the century-old cliché “Nobody Is Perfect”. As much as all of us have our sinister character is as much as we have our immaculate personality. What matters is how one lives her own life and how well she can fairly cope up with whatever tribulations she meets along the way. She can be a saint or a demon. She can be a friend or a foe. She can be brave and cowardly. She can be loved today and be hated tomorrow. She can be...a lot like Lovi.

If I am to describe this no-nonsense girl in five words within two seconds, my mouth would definitely utter NOT YOUR DAMSEL IN DISTRESS. If you are to put her in a crate and send it to some planet where tough and independent people are very much needed, the box would definitely bore a sign that says: DON’T PROVOKE OR YOU WILL SEE HELL.
This stylish girl, who had curly mane as her distinguished trademark, was christened by her modish mom and environmentalist dad with a name that would best describe her as a person---Lovielly. But let’s call her Lovi instead.
Lovi is a woman who can be extra sweet and genuinely charming if she wanted to. But when the need arises, she also has her own bone-chilling claws and eerie fork tongue to use against people who belongs to this so-called Secret Society of Bitches and Assholes who deserved some slicing on their faces, ala-Wolverine style, and a deadly spit of venom on their wounds after some serious slicing, like a Black Mumba. Yeah…that would definitely make her day! What makes it more eerie is that she can do all these deadly acts having a sweet smile on her face…eeww, twisted!
But don’t assume things yet. Lovi may be tough and haughty, but she is not a merciless witch. In fact, once you get to meet and know her for the first time, you can quickly conclude she’s undeniably friendly and smart. Those deadly weapons just come in handy if she needs to ban self-centered people, who just can’t get enough of themselves, to enter her premises. Deep inside though, she has a good heart. She’s “none of the above” to multiple choices of insensitive, backbiter, pretentious and stuck-up.
So, what’s so good about Lovi? Ohhh, lots of things…



Fashionable Goddess

Stylish, yes. Very, in fact. But on this department, let me just emphasize that Lovi does not consult her wardrobe to some high-paid fashion designer and spend big bucks just to know what to wear. Her fashionista” image is
just maintained by religiously following her OWN style --- yeah, the Lovi way. And dig this. She finds happiness digging buckets and buckets of UK (ukay-ukay) clothes everyday. She calls it an “investment” and mind you, she’s 100% good at it.
Lovi loves to experiment with her evolving fashion sense. She loves being sexily stylish and trendy favoring backless or cleavage-revealing blouses all the time. Other people may find her style too daring or weird, but because she was born with unwavering confidence, she always looked awesome and chic strutting around with these kinds of wardrobes. Not once, did she look cheap on it. UK dresses are cheap but if it is worn by someone like Lovi, look again.
Her fashion experiments don’t scare her a bit. Instead, it boosts up her self-confidence the more. She loves to innovate. She finds joy in “brainstorming” her next wardrobe. She loves to play “matchmaker” to blouses and pants, scarves and skirts. The girl simply had an eye for fashion. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day, this girl, who hails from General Santos City, will have her own boutique someday.


Vain in her every vein


Lovi used to hate make-ups and
I used to see her without any colors
painted on her face…not even a light
lipstick or a shiner maybe. The girl
was so aloof when it came to using
cosmetics and back then, not a single
soul can convince her to indulge into
it. There was even a time when his husband, also a good friend of mine, asked her what she wanted for her birthday --- a lipstick, a press powder or some blush-on. “Can you give me a perfume instead?” was the answer to the million-dollar question.
But Glory to God in the highest, after so many years of not seeing each other (she decided to settle in Gen San City after resigning from her stressful job), Lovi turned out to be this rosy-cheeked and red-lipped babe all of the sudden. I thought I could never see such a sight! As much as she loves to dress up is as much as she loves to be her own make-up artist. She detested it before. She can’t leave the house without it now.
The thing is, not only is she indulging into this colorful interest of hers but she’s also into revamping every inch of her body, from the tips of her hair down to the ends of her toenails. Not only are jewelries a woman’s best friend but a beauty regimen as well. For a woman who is so full of pep and enthusiasm, Lovi’s beauty rituals included first and foremost physical activities such as jogging, playing badminton and belly dancing to attain a heavenly figure. These forms of exercises also helped her be energetic at all times and not even a small amount of pressure and stress is allowed to invade her system. But Lovi does not deny the fact that she also tried diet pills from the “acceptable” Fitrum to the “just okay” Xenical down to the “Oh no, not that!” Ballerina. As of this writing, Lovi is still into the latter.
The regimen does not stop there, of course. As a young girl, she used to be depressed about these ugly scars on her face due to her skin asthma. Now, as a grown woman whose self-confidence had also heightened to its peak, her Depression Era was mightily changed into a Time of Transformation. Instead of lamenting over her disgraced skin, she consulted beauty products that would give her the pleasure of having smooth and clear skin.
Like millions of filipina, Lovi also wanted to attain fairer skin. Ever heard of the famous Metathione and Glutathione? To be honest I don’t really have any idea what’s the difference between the two but these “thione” siblings solicited a lot of testimonies that they truly whitens the skin. Lovi used to take the very expensive Met pills but because it resulted to some health problems, her doctor advised her to discontinue taking the pills. Imagine her frustration.
She’s reuniting herself with the ever dependable and more affordable Papayas again --- soap, lotion, the fruit itself --- name it, she uses it!
But Lovi’s healthiest regimen of all is maintaining a healthy diet. With the influence from her husband, she is in fact nearly converting herself into a vegetarian. It’s not that she’s an animal rights activist or something but she just wanted to free her body from taking meat. It was hard at first but equipped with enough determination, she’s winning the battle.
Lovi is undeniably vain but her vanity never crossed the border that could earn her a spot in the Secret Society Club. If vanity is giving her a sense of fulfillment, thus making her happy without stepping into other people’s toes, thus encouraging her to always have a positive outlook in life, then why stop this woman from doing so? She always feel beautiful inside and out and come to think of it, she really is. The last time we saw each other, I remembered her smart and beautiful son blurting “She’s a sexy Momma!”


Passionate Reader,
Fervent Writer




I’ve always known Lovi to be a passionate reader. She reads every book that her hands could grab and her eyes could see. And once she gets to like what she’s reading, definitely there will be no parting, not even a second, with that reading material no matter what it takes.
She especially loved to read books authored by Paulo Coelho and Mitch Albom, two novelists who’s every piece of literary works never fails to touch the souls of their readers. They love to write about ordinary characters with extraordinary lives. Coupled with a simple way of writing style, both novelists produce an exemplary work of art that could truly inspire anybody who reads it. That’s how Coelho and Albom are and Lovi just couldn’t get enough of them.
But being a wide reader, she never limits herself to reading only the works of those authors. She also finds joy and satisfaction reading from Shakespeare to Frank McCourt’s “Angela’s Ashes”, from J.D. Salinger’s “Catcher In The Rye” to Eve Montelibano’s taglish love stories, from Philippine Daily Inquirer’s Rolando de Quiros’ column down to the simplest essays created by her own friends who are also skillful writers like her. She simply adored books, may it be a paperback or hard-bound, new release or bought on sale. I wonder how big is her library now?
The girl loves to read a lot but her name is synonymous to writing. When it comes to playing with English, Tagalog and a little bit of Visayan words to create her own piece of literature, Lovi is a truly gifted individual. A girl who is never afraid to speak her mind is also a girl who never stopped herself from writing anything under the sun, moon and stars. Writing is always her passion, her outlet, her confidante, her first love.
Lovi’s passion for writing dates back ages and ages ago. Even before she entered her college years, she always knew she loved to write, thus taking up a Mass Communication course at the Holy Cross of Davao College.
She loves to document all her emotions either in a paper or her personal computer which one way or another helps her keep track of how she is growing as a person. Every happiness, frustrations, fear, grief and joy are painstakingly recorded, letting these emotions decide what she would write about and how she would write it.
What’s good about Lovi is that even though she is already too good a writer, she never ceases to learn more. She has her own Circle (of “writing” friends) wherein she shares most of her literary works to them as well as trying to learn from their writing style at the same time. She is happy every time she makes love with her laptop to create her masterpieces. But she’s happiest if she gets to read each and every article shared by her friends in the Circle. And how is the sharing done? Blogging, of course. Lovi’s Google Blogspot is her second home and her blissful dwelling. It’s undeniably her nirvana.
Getting back to the question again…what’s good about Lovi? To sum it all up, Lovi is a passionate reader and a fervent writer whose vanity makes her a fashionable goddess. She’s definitely an artist inside and out.




She who’s name is notting.

How lucky one is to have her as a friend.
Despite her imperfections and weaknesses,
In totality, she is indeed God-send

What would life be without her?
Whose existence simply gives joy to everyone.
A girl who knows how to heal one’s dying soul
And who never leaves a friend even when all is gone.

She can be a friend or a foe,
She can be very brave or cowardly,
She’s neither a saint nor a demon,
She is just…a lot like Lovi.


(Lovi is a kind of friend I could never imagine my life without. She’s truly one in a million. – jei agas)

Wanderlust

I used to dedicate this poem to my mom and dad.
Now I will offer every words of this to Bien.
We used to call him BS but he do not like to be called that way now. He will always insist to call him Bien.


Wander, wander, wandering
The urge to roam
to dance
to fly
to be,
the search for free
the need to see
to go
to find
to search
to do
My thirsts
So easily quenched
So close to home
And yours so grand
So elegant
So marvelous
Climbing mountain tops and riding elephants
and tiger hunts
and dancing bears
and far off stars
and trip to Mars
and all of it
So wild
So vast
So freee
As you wander
wandering
wondering

And then the best part of all
When satisfied
complete
and happy now
You wander
slowly
home to me

Nov 7, 2007

Mom and Dad

Why can't life be perfect?
Why can't life be packaged up nicely, complete with an instruction booklet?
Why can't we see the future so we can make perfect decisions?

but anyway smelling the roses
playing and dancing in the rain,
cooking and eating food you want
and being with your friends, family and love ones
is morethan enough to sigh that
LIFE IS GGGRRREAT!

Life is a road we travel.
Learning comes along the way.
If we cannot learn as we live, where is the gain?
There is pain and there is heartbreak... yeahhh
but there is also love and forgiveness.
Open your heart and enjoy your journey.

I am not perfect, nobody is
but for now I am happy
I can sleep with a smile
I can walk with a big grin on my face

In this journey I am so lucky to have them both
my mom
my dad
I love you.
You make my life colorful.
You make my life great.

Nov 6, 2007

Changes


Me,Anjo,Leslie and Baby Maxine






Years after with the same cute gangs Leslie, Kiddie Maxine with additional company from Bien in exchange to his Kuya Anjo.
Anjo refused to join. Anyway, he is in his third year highschool now.



There is no such thing as permanent indeed!!!! I hope to stay inlove with them forever. They keep me young and alive.

Kiber

Whats your warriors name?

Firestar

kind selfless tendency to break rules (but only for a good cause) strong

Click Here to Take This Quiz

quiz
Quizzes and Personality Tests


I think its a bit true... what do you think Nancy and Eves

Personality Test

From my friend's house Nancang.
Honestly I am now thinking why we have the same color.
Heheheheheee
I love you Friend.

What color is your personality?

Your Personality is Dark blue!

Your a true feeling person. You often spend time just sitting, and trying to understand your over-whelming emotions. You love learning, and dreaming. Quite shy, you enjoy your solitude. You live a life of deep reflection. Secretly, your highly spiritual.

Personality Test Results

Click Here to Take This Quiz

quiz
Quizzes and Personality Tests

Twinkle Kapalunguan

Yesterday I visited my long time highschool friend in Mindanao Baptist Hospital here in GenSan City together with my highschool Bestfriend Alma. She is dying. I saw her in the ICU but for now her status is already stable ( her doctor told us to be ready..anytime she will be going to die).

Like her name, she always shines on the top. Twinkle is the topnotcher in our batch... Beauty and brains. Pinaka least expected ko talaga na mangyayari ito sa kanya. I feel so sad seeing her in that situation na kahit sa pananalita nya'y hirap na hirap sya.

Her lungs , her heart , her kidneys and other major organs in her body is not functioning well. But I saw in her eyes her will to live more. My God... ayaw pa nyang mamatay. Ayaw pa nyang gumive-up kahit hirap na hirap na sya at kahit ang bawat kinakain niya ay di na tinatanggap ng kanyang sikmura( she still dont want to die. She refused to let go even if she's been suffering a lot and even when she always vomit everything she is eating)

While visiting her, some of our friends will tell her to lift up everything to God. "Sige na... pagod ka na Twinx.... let go na... let go na..."
I can not forget the reaction in her eyes... I know, I just know that she did not like what she heard.

They prayed for her.
I dont know but I can not join them in their prayer even if physically I was with them. I am too weak in this kind of situation. I just put on my cold face because I dont want Twinx to see me affected by her situation. I know her, she do not like to be pitied.
I'm really crying inside.
I really want to hug her frail body.
Touch gently her dried hair and dried and scaly skin.
But I refused to do it...
I dont know why I was not expressive with her.
Maybe I do not love her.
Maybe she is not close to me.
But inside, I am crying....
Inside I feel her pain.
Its just that I can not expressed it.

Remember how to think like a child

In the movie Young Frankenstein, Gene Wilder is saying good-bye to his sweetheart, Madeline Khan. He steps to embrace her but is immediately rebuffed with "The hair. The hair." All his attempt to bid his affectionate adieu are foiled because she doesn't want anything "mussed". That is exactly how some peole live their lives. As adults, many of us need the child-like enthusiasm that will allow us to loosen and live.

You cant make positive difference in the live of others by becoming dreary old fuddydud.

I was a bit like Madeline Khan this morning while chatting to my bestfriend Murat. I got conscious into the way I look. I was so excited to listen to his folklore music that I even forgot to fix my self before facing him in the webcam. But I am okey now, I just realized that any woman looks more prettier everytime she wakes up in the morning, hehehe.

Before going to work today, I decided to lie in the ground and watch the clouds roll by together with my nieces and nephews and I played hide and seek with my two year-old cute pamangkin named IGIBOY (Nephew). We hugged each other with out any reservations.
You know what? I feel good and it brightens my world!

By the way, I just got my self fixed and I feel so sexy going to my meeting today.

Here is what I realized today:

Loosen up, lighten up, and love with a child's heart.
Regardless if you look abit mystical. BOOOOO.... mooo mooooo

Nov 5, 2007

For Nancy

Guys, the friendship you give me is the sky above my home. The clean cystal air that I breath, through which I see. I can not believe how much you two mean to me.
We may not see each other all the time but my love for both of you will remain in my heart. With out you with me, time would turn to stone. I need your friendship and most of all I need you both WHOLE. In times your wounded heart can hardly bear.. I will be there, absolutely.

To Nancy my sexiest fren (next to me… eheheheheh) goodluck to your operation this 15th. I am scared but I know God will make it easy for you.
You know why I need you Girl? Maybe because you always awaken my senses to be fully who and what I am. I NEVER EVER BEEN SO DRAMATIC TO YOU …. Just now….just now…
With you and our besfren Eves… we share a grace that never ends.
(shittt…rhyming words man gyud… Picture ninyung duha ni eves beh..kadtong nagsassy- girl nga pose…paki-email kay i-post nako nganhi… and diay, hows your photoshop? Kaya mo yan oi… kadali ra ato… lisud pa ning blogging)

The beauty of Bettyboop

The beauty of Betty Boop
Is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries,
Or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of Betty Boop
Must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.

The beauty of Betty Boop
Is not in a facial mole,
Butthe true beauty Betty Boop
Is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
The beauty of Betty Boop
With passing years-only grows.

Lucky is man who is the first love of Betty Boop
for she will never forgets

Photograph and memories

Photographs will help us understand who we are and from whom we become.
Somebody said (but I forgot who he is) that photos are precious pieces of life tha can be held in the hand.

This blog was introduced to me by my Bestfriend. So from jotting down in my diaries I then trasfer into blogging. From here I am now organizing a wonderful memories I have with my family, friends and love ones. Labelling my golden moments is surely a hit. A memory that would last a lifetime na pwede kong ipamana sa aking mga magiging anak, apo, eheehee and all those who will see their reflected faces in the photograph and all those who will read their part in my life.

My father appreciated my blog. I just showed it to him just now. He was so amazed. Heheheheh my ever number one fan.

He told me that it is a renewed sense of identity.
Wowoweeee.... ang lalim kaya?

Mao run.... nainspired noon ko to do a family heirloom. You know when I will finish it... i will compound my sense of satisfaction by offering help to my friends to do the same.

Anyway, with this we could make a maze or a door or a window to our past.

Murag computer gyapun... hyperlinking lang ng linking.... geeeez....

Mommy almost slapped (from jei)

When it comes to testing my patience, my one year old son oftentimes succeeds in making me lose it. Almost everyday, we have this mommy-son war going on especially during feeding time and in sleeping at night which often results to semi-harsh yelling and butt-spanking. The guilt-feeling on my part, expectedly comes afterwards.
Being both a mommy and a career woman is one role I have yet to learn. It always amazes me to watch other mommies who are also preoccupied with their work being so patient in dealing with their equally “busy” child. ‘Supermoms’ is what they are called and I don’t have an inkling feeling that I could be one of them…yet.
Learning for the first time that I was pregnant gave me mixed emotions. At first, I thought I was only experiencing what they call “layag” because not having menstruation for months isn’t new or unusual to me anymore due to the fact of having abnormal hormones. I was not even thinking of the possibility of getting pregnant at that time. When I started to feel uneasy with my body already, I consulted not an OB doctor but a pregnancy test kit. How many lines do you think appeared after three minutes huh?
Finally, an ultrasound test confirmed that indeed, I am going to be a mom after 9 months. When my husband---my boyfriend then---was still trying to comprehend the good news, I was also trying to grasp the idea of me being a mother. At that time, not a single hint of how am I gonna look like being pregnant and how am I gonna be as a mommy came to pacify the mixed feelings I was having.
My son came out through normal delivery. He was indeed the bundle of everybody’s joy and the apple of our eyes. Every moment was captured and recorded which resulted to buying loads of photo albums. They said first-borns often possess gazillions of pictures. When he turned a year older, he started learning to walk, talks alien language and already demonstrated different emotions. It was on this stage of his life where my patience started to malfunction.
My son has this superb talent of fighting sleepiness. Even with all the yawning and the droopy eyes, he fights back sleep for wanting to walk around the house, from bedroom to kitchen, while yapping some alien words loudly and proudly. Now try to imagine going home from work, dog-tired and wanting to hit the bed to be able to wake up early the next day but your son just refuses to retire from the “work” he was having.
I often get hoarse voice from humming made-up lullabies and my legs often get tired from dancing while I hum for two to three hours. By doing these, all I get are kicks and wails. Tired moms do find these really irritating!
The little guy also has this attitude of forever refusing to take solid foods. He only accepts three to four scoops and after that, expect the food and the spoon to be flying around you. Goodness, my son has incredibly strong hands. And feet too. What he could not reach with his hands, he’ll try reaching it with his feet. I should have named him Dexter for being so dexterous.
But don’t get me wrong. I love my son dearly. What’s mysterious about it is the more he is testing my patience, the more I am drawn to him. The more my love for him grows. But I guess that’s just the way it is. Mommies love their child from the moment they were conceived until they reach their elementary days, until they finish highschool, until they graduated from college, until they marry, until they have a child of their own until…eternity.
My son is my pride and joy. He was, and still is, truly a blessing given to me and I could never thank God enough for that. Yes, there are times that I almost snap but the thing is, I never did. Just because I couldn’t sleep early or way too tired pushing the food inside his mouth is not enough reason for me to pour all my hatred and angst to him. Thankfully, I’m not that kind of momma. My son is just being a kid and living that kind of life only happens once. So why take that opportunity from him?
Patience is one virtue that I don’t really possess. I easily get irritated if I fail to achieve the things that I want to achieve. But my son, small and innocent as he is, taught me how to increase my patience’s level. He may not be a well-behaved kid as of the moment but when he is giving me my practical exam in “deal with your patience” subject, I would just stay silent and look into his eyes, then I would suddenly realize how I love this little kid. So much that I would extend my patience just for him. The funny thing is, when he realizes I’m staring at him, he would suddenly stop whatever he was doing and laugh his heart out. Indeed a child’s laughter is the best sound in the world!

Nov 1, 2007

Darang....

Vacation muna akoo.... I will be in Davao for five days with BS and Ervien.

The beauty and the chick (from Jei)

I got a letter from my good friend. Actually, it’s a letter saved in a CD (technology nowadays may seem convenient and speedy but pens and papers remains to be the best way in making letters more personal and touching). She also saved two of her short literary works for my reading pleasure and some pictures taken while at work to show me how her career life contributes so much of the happiness she is experiencing nowadays. What’s more, I got a bonus! She included a song, untitled that is, because she said that the lyrics sums up all she wants to say to me.
It was a good song. Actually it’s a kind of music you would want to dedicate to a very depressed friend who sees nothing but the worst side of life. A feeling I am very familiar with. It amazes me thou that my good friend was so sensitive enough to truly grasp the kind of turmoil I am undergoing with my life. Also, in just a short span of time, she was able to find a song fitted for my sentiments and lamentations (good grief! Am I turning to be a bitchy drama queen?). But given the fact that she’s an artist inside and out, I should not have wondered in the first place.
Reading her letter and listening to the song afterwards moved me so much. Add the fact that she had done a lot of great effort just to make me feel good about myself made my tears want to burst out from my eyes, but hey, I’m in the office for crissake, so phuleezz, not a single tear! Looking silly and mushy in front of my officemates is the last thing I want to happen.
Ours is a friendship that started not so long ago. We hit it off because we had the same favorites in almost everything --- music, movies and showbiz personalities (oh yeah, we just can’t get enough of showbiz! Call us baduy but we’re a die hard fan of Sheryl Cruz, Judy Ann Santos and Sharon Cuneta). Recently, our camaraderie became strong and profound because we both realized we share the same passion --- reading and collecting books. Books, may it be a paperback or hard-bound, new release or bought on sale, is one thing we are forever slaving ourselves for. If Gollum considers Sauron’s ring his precious, we on the other hand considered books as our valued treasure.
We also love writing. The difference is, she always knew that writing is her one true passion. Me, on the other hand, just recently realized that I love to write. To be a columnist or an editor-in-chief of a fashion magazine is an ultimate dream of mine. But since I’m still in the “I-doubt-if-I-can-do-this” stage, so….heck, I don’t know!
I saved the file in my office computer so that every time depression takes me (I always have this when I’m at work), just a few clicks from my computer mouse, then ta da! loads of inspiration would chase the devil away and kick its butt out of my system. Geez, sometimes I’m close to believing that I do need a shrink badly.
Having someone who shares the same brain waves like I do is such a wonderful and comforting feeling. What’s really cool about it is that my friend and I don’t see each other often. She’s a Gen San beauty while I’m a Davao chick. But who could stop two wonderful and artistic bitches from being friends? Now is not a Stone Age era but a period of gushing technologies. We’re also “techies”, mind you. Darn! Are we superwomen or what?





The beauty…doing her groceries with son BS.









The chick…during her baby Stan’s 1st birthday party.