Dec 31, 2007

A thousand and one nights





You can see different faces here with different kind of moves but THERE is still one thing we have in common.... our happy faces!!!!! We were laughing, shouting and giggling. I again found my self in a world of people. I feel relieved. Ika nga ke Paulo Coelho eh it is my personal legend that brings me here tonight.
This year, it was almost impossible that we could celebrate together but God brought us a new feelings. A feelings that to be celebrated for. At least between me and Ervs we are now willing to know each other more and more as we grow old together.

HAPPY NEW YEAR Everyone!!!
To all my blogfriends, Happy New Year!

Dec 29, 2007

Evelyn



Ang pagkakaibigan natin ay

Nabuo

Isinilang

Lumago

Ngunit lumipas man ang ating kabataan (Tayo ay mukhang bata pa rin)

Pagkakaibiga’y di naman nalusaw

Lumipas man ang panahon ng Holy Cross natin

Lumisan man ako ng Davao at lumipat ng Gensan

Nag-asawa’t nagkaanak

Nabigo

Nawasak ang puso

Bumangon

Lumaban

Andyan ka pa rin para sa akin

Malayo man ngunit buong–buo ka pa rin

Ngayon ikaw ay nawawala uli

Inaayos ang buhay

Para yumaman

Tawa naman dyan hehehe

Sumusulpot bigla sa YM

Nagbla-blog na lang paminsan – minsan

Talagang puspusan na pag-aaral ulit yan matalik na kaibigan

Paglipas ng taglamig na ito

Magkikita uli tayo

Isisilang uli natin

Ang mga nawalang panahon ng samahan

Kunsabagay sa puso ko naman

Ikaw pa rin si Besfren Ev-yang

Yung simple pero grabeee

Cute na terible

'ala na akong ibang masabi

Basta 'ansuwerte ko ako bestfren mo

iNGATS...

ACTUALLY na MiSs lang Kita


Dec 26, 2007

Witchy puppet







I considered this one as the greatest material gift Dad gave me.
Not the make-up kit last year;
Not the Juday's like outfit last month;
Not the jewelries and bags years ago
but this one really made my knees bended on the floor.
My WITCHY PUPPET!!! hihihihi

I must admit that this year is our second try-out hubby and wifey relationship as we are trying to keep the marriage strong but I think we will make it ( God's will.... God's will). He understands me more now and I am also discovering new love-aBle attitudes from him.
Acceptance and willingness to be together is on the air!!! He is making me happy as a woman and as a person. And most of all he is bringing the best in me.
I pray that I'm giving him the same impact as he is to me.

When I opened the gift I was really surprised!!! (Grinning)
And more surprised I got when I read his message that goes like this:

To my Witchy wifey,
I love everything about you.
It is just that I do not know how to express it.
You are such a high-maintenance witch.
But I love you.... more than my life.
Suck my blood baby.
Eat my flesh.... merry xmas!!! hohoho
your vampire hubby
Ervs

He give effort to do this.
I thank him for making me feel secured now.
He also makes me feel sexy and beautiful. It's more than enough.... that is a bonus!!

Thank you dad!!

What is thy name

Twinkle reach out to be my friend. She's always humble and simple though she got everything a woman could ever asked for. It was at this moment that I realized how good she was to me.
While being so snub and insecure, she gave me friendship and attention.
Many many many years before, I have doubts on her kindness. I did not know who she really is. Just this night on her wake, I realized how good she is as a person and friend.

I am brave and stubborn.
Brave because I can always speak my mind.
Tell her things I truly feel even if it would hurt her.
Stubborn because I realized how selfish I was to her.
And yet after all, she freed me from every guilt feelings I could ever have from being so skeptical to her friendship.
Honestly, I pushed her away while she was trying to get close.
I am just lucky that like her name Twinkle, she truly gives light and shines for the people that matters to her.
Nasayang man ang mga sandaling sana ay nagkasama kami bilang tunay na kaibigan, nag-kausap naman kami at nagkapatawaran bago sya pumanaw.
She assured me not to worry.
She will be safe in heaven.
Rest in peace twinx.

Dec 24, 2007

Witchy's blood type

Witchy mom is so busy this time.
Hope that you would still be able to find time reading her cheeky blood type test.
This one is a bit true.




Your Inner Blood Type is Type B


You follow your own rules in life, even if you change the rules every day.
Sure, you tend to be off the wall and unpredictable, but that's what makes
lovable.
And even though you're a wild child, you have the tools to be a great success.
You are able to concentrate intently - and make the impossible possible
and most of all you love magical experiences, witchy charms
and splendid fashion.
You are most compatible with: B and AB

Famous Type B's: Leonardo Di Caprio and Judy Ann Santos

My IQ Test

Ewwwww.....it's true, I'm always illogical!!! When I took my civil service examination I only got 30 points in the logical test part. I hate that stuff. It waS menTally and emotionaLly D R A I N I N G. huhuh
Recel, Thank you for this tag. I have a good time answering all those questions (~0~)
It's always a pleasure having me tagged by you.
Thank you so much.. This tag made me realized something.
Three words baby...
I'm a genius !!!
har har har (Ulkkk.... my brAg blog!!)




Your IQ Is 205




Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Average

Your General Knowledge is Genuis



My turn to tag my bestfren Eves, Jayvee and Nancy.

Dec 21, 2007

Oh, it's odd

This tag is from my new friend Ester

Here are the rules: Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
Share seven (7) random and/or weird facts about yourself. Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a notification on their blog.
Random Weirdness (~~)
1. Convincing my two nieces to wear black every time they wanna play with me.
The kids like it.


2. Doing unique hair style for my hubby and Bien when dating them in malls and
public places. Cool Dad and son enjoy this kind of bonding.


3. One sweet weird blessing I've got is having Josephina 29 years in my life. She
devoted her life to us especially to me and now she is still taking care of Bien. I LoVe herrr. It is unique to have someone who can make a perfect coffee for your taste. When I was in college, I live alone with out her for 4 years and darnnnn.... I missed that years of not drinking her coffee. She's the original witch. If you hate me, she can cast a spell and you will wake up loving me na. ( heheheh amawa oi... binuang ra)

4. Having a son who reads a lot even when the push-cart is moving. (He also loves Emo's fashion. I hope to share with you in my next post Bien's new Emo-hairdo. )


5. Treasuring a black witchy bag given by my grand mother 15 years ago. I consider this as MY PRECIOUS (whispers...) . Ang hilig ko sa mga lumang bagay kaya pag kami ni Hubby ay nasa New Zealand na, naku... you can already imagine how our house would look like.

6. Aside from reading english books I am also into pinoy tagalog novels. I don't collect them but I bought them to satiate my cravings for filipino kilig stories. I am still completing my collection of Eve Montilibano's novel and have her autograph soon. She's my favorite pinoy novelist from Gensan next to Helen Meriz. I grew up loving all the books written by Helen and I even cried when she died from a car accident. It's unfortunate not to meet her in person. I used to saved money from my allowance just to buy her books when I was still in my elementary and highschool days and now I'm collecting Eve's book. So far I only have two pinoy favorite novelist. I',m just reading the rest of the pinoy books and will give it to my friends who also have passions for filipino novels but in fairness I enjoyed reading them all.

7. I am an ant-murderer. I hate them because it leaves a mark in my skin when they bite me. I hate them because they love sweet stufffff.... and they love eating meee... I hate themmm... I hate themmm because I am sweet....
( nyehee!!)

Now its my turn to tag
Gladys
Recel
Icey
Salvee
Nancy
JD
Liza

Dec 19, 2007

Bien's convocation

"For a moment Dad!" Bien told his father while we were walking home right after the second convocation program in school. Then Daddy paused and when he was about to asked the kid why, Bien told him "Dad, picture... picture!!! Ganito lang na posing dad ha... nakapatong sa kahoy na putol" he added. Dad can not believed that his boy talks like this now. He was laughing while playing with his camera and taking some shots for Bien.
The witchy and the hubby waiting for the Emcee to call- in Bien's name on-stage. Dad here told me that he was inspired taking some photos. We look good together but wait... are we sad here? hehehe nasobrahan yata sa pag emote ang witch, nahhh... The only boy in the first row. Bien with his favorite smile. He calls that as a Zaido-BLAZE-Smile!!!

This is truly what dreams are made of.



My wishlist

1. one set of a witchy-like jewelry
2. books of Mitch Albom
3. meeting eve montilibano in person
4. losing five kilos this month

ito na yung matindi kong wish
5. magpapa-inject ng #### para mas lalong ######... wahihihihi

para sa mga amegah... baw ma-shock ka na lang....

o sya sya sya....I will change my number 5 list
ito na lang ulit

5. ma-meet si judyann santos in person

sana nga magkatotoo...

Different faces of Chuva

Wow....
I love this girl.

Another award


Got this one from my friend Twerlyn. It it is indeed always exciting to be awarded. Thank you girl!!!
My turn to share this one to my following friends Recel, Genetics, Ice yelo, Liza ans Salvee.

Dec 17, 2007

Twinkle died today

Bien received his second honor award this day. As my husband promised Bien we painted the town with our smiles and laughters. We truly have a good time. Bien even told us that he was very happy.

When we got home, my niece LJ told me that my friend from highschool just died today. She got the news from her teacher Happy (Twinkle's younger sister). Happy told her to tell me that my friend is gOne.

It was last month when I saw her lying in a hospital bed. Smiling though not feeling so well.
My close friend Alma keeps on massaging her upper and lower extremities and she would tell her that it eases the pain she was feelin' while I was only in a corner, speechless, uneasy and in- out of wits. I was honestly scared. I always hate it when I saw sick people suffering. I always feel the pain in their eyes and the fear to die. You can imagine how obviously scared I was at that time.

Twinkle, I am praying for your soul now. Your with Jesus and with Mommy brenda too (her mom). Even if were not very close, I know your watching me as I am now encoding my thoughts for you. I could not say I love you because were not really that tight... but you know how much I respect you and admired you as a person.

Twinx..... our last talk was about Matet and your belief that I was angry at you because of what happen to Matet. It feels better now that we have given each other the chance to clarify all those issues. I remember how much we hugged each other for letting go of those issues. You smiled to me and told me that I am a kind person, that my heart is pure.... ( my god.... honestly, I doubt it) but it freed me from the guilt I am supposed to feel now.

Thanks for that chance Twinkle.

I will never forget you
and the way you have implanted the most important lesson you have taught me.

Humility.

I just hope to really have it, by heart.

Dec 9, 2007

I feel your pain

I just feel the sadness in my friend's life today.
Her mommy is begging for a mercy killing.
She just cried .....she can not let it happen.
Obviously her mom has been suffering from a serious sickness.
It is really painful to see your loveones suffering.
To hear them crying
grasping
and begging you to help them stop the feelin'.
Sometimes when the pain is unbearable, we rather want to die.
Nanliit tuloy ako for giving up sa konting problemang dumadaan sa buhay ko.
(Shame on me for sometimes giving up in a small problems I am encountering).
Now I have three questions in my mind.....
How good that death still exist?
Is happiness temporary?
Is pain unavoidable?

Shoelace..... I give you my heart.
I give you friendship.
In times you need some ears, I am here...

Dec 8, 2007

Son

Day and night in my heart and yours I am with you.
From a helpless baby boy now your growing and deciding your own.
Whenever I saw the eagerness in you to soar, to learn and to do things in your own
it keeps the smile on my face
You do wonders in my life son.
You make me sad only if I saw you hurting
and making things wrongly and when you don't listen to us, it tears my heart into pieces.
I pray that you will grow up a fine man son. A man who can manage his own emotions, his own life. A man who can bring joy to his friends, family and loveones. Most of all a good citizen who can make his countrymen proud.

When my Mom told me that you are climbing the mango tree in our backyard, I was not scared at all. You know why son?
I saw in your eyes the determination to learn climbing, your goal.
I am proud seeing you like that.
I even paused for a while, watching how you do things in your own and my god, I even enjoyed it. What a sight!!!

Your grandmother saw it too. So she took a picture of you. I am thankful she did that. I will never forget this picture son.
This will always remind me of my role as a mother.

I will always listen to you my baby. In time, you will also listen to me.
I am also sure that you will go places. You will make your life successful.
I believed in you.

Dec 5, 2007

Depression


Whenever I feel so sad or I feel so lousy finishing my report, black curtain uplifts my mood. I am a bit pressured right now. I have to finished today my IEE report for my two clients. Tinatamad pa ako (I feel so lazy). I can not think well. I told Gina about it (Gina is my mom's sister). When I finished taking a bath, I found a black curtain hanging in my room. Abahhh.... I feel alive. Psychologically, it helps my mood to work now. Thank you Gina babyyyy!!
Funny... I am acting like a depressed woman today. I am so sad that I have not watched BATANES movie yesterday! Huhuhuhu
'la lang... ambabaw ko talaga. Hmp!! kainis.

Coffee Witch

(She loves coffee and so she planted one three years ago.
Now she's harvesting and tasting it!!!)

Last week together with my son, we visited our dad and our cute home in Davao. Its been so long since our last visit here. We arrived night time already so when I woke up in the morning craving for my coffee habit, I remember the tree I planted three years way back. So excitedly I rushed to our backyard grabbing gently my son so that I could tell him the story about how I planted this coffee tree. I was really surprised seeing the tree full of red coffee beans.
You could imagine me clapping my hands and jumping!!!
My husband takes care of it pala. Natuwa ang bruha. Galing!
This is how it feels to be excited in a small things, huh...(~_~)!!

My boyfriend Ervien (hehehe) find me cute and so he took pictures together with my coffee dear.
Murag model na noon ko sa kape duh (I feel like a coffee model)
errr... {*=*}

My Childhood Car


This car will always remain in my heart. It is part of our family. My Papa used to fetch us from school and bring us in the beach for a family outing.

For some, it may be a junk but for me it is a precious jewel that will always have a spark in my heart.

Mmmm... have you seen that cute broomstick?

My pumpangkins (pamangkins) love that thing now. Hahahahaha
One of our bonding time is cleaning our backyard during weekends and my kiddos have also put a stick on their brooms and together we will shout this " Broomstick family!!!!"

My father would just smile while watching us. I know he is always happy seeing her 29 year old only daughter playing like a child to his grandchildren.

Have you tried playing with kids? Wow men, it is very therapeutic!

Gumamela


While I am addicted in collecting Paulo Coelho's and Mitch Albom's book , my mom is also into her rare plant collection. When I read my friend Salvee's article about her being a gumamela lover, I can not help but smile. I remember my mom. How she takes care of her plants, how she wakes up every morning to be with them and how important they are to her.

I was inspired today to took so
me photos and chat with my mom regarding my friend SalVee. Wow, Ms Salvee my Mom said if you can come here in General Santos City, She will be touring you in her small flower garden and would probably give some of her baby gumamela plants. She will be happy to have you here !!!

Take this pictures. They are all for you my Friend..




Dec 3, 2007

A thank you message for Jayvee

Thank you fren for your early christmas gift. The Fifth Mountain book of PC, the pink bag, all the cute papernotebooks and stationaries and mostly for loving and trusting in our friendship. Shockss... I am blessed enough to have you!
I hope to be with you this christmas time.
Hey, for sure I will be watching Batanes Movie by Ken and Izza tommorow, first day and first hour at KCC Mall here in General Santos City. Bleehhh...... mauuna ako sayo....

3 things I am addicted to....

Tagged to me by my sweet friend SalVee.....

The three things I'm into right now are the following:


WitchyBoop is a big fan of JuDy Ann SAntOs. Juday is now endorsing the FOR ME brand of clothing and because of that Witchy couldn't sleep peacefully without having owned a single stuff from this shop. One day (last week during her one week vacation in Davao to visit a dear friend Nancy) before going home to Gensan she bought a blouse and a skirt. You can now imagine her happy face.... winks!!


Since the My Girl Korean Soap Opera aired in ABS CBN, Witchy can't help control her sanity whenever Lee Dong Wook's picture is around. He can make her crazy like the character Veronica did in Paulo Coelho's Book "Veronica decides to die". So far far far .... Witchy got plenty of his pictures and DVD movies as well.

Lastly
( some of the books were not in the picture below, borrowed by her highschool best friend Alma)
all the books of Paulo Coelho.
Finally, only the book entitled The witch of portobello is not yet in her collection . The said book was out of stock last week when Witchy decided to complete all the books written by PC.
From The alchemist, Eleven Minutes, Pilgrimage, Valkyries, By the river Piedra I sat down and cry, Veronika decides to die, Zahir, Fifth Mountain and The Devil
and Ms Prym were already in her bookshelves.
Witchy is so addicted to Paulo's enchanting works. Like him, she also believes with all her heart that
when you want something, all the universe will conspire in helping you to achieved it.
His words are her inspiration. It is like a bible to her. It keeps her moving like a water that gives a ripples in other person's life.

Now it is her turn to tag her good friend Jayvee, Denz, Darlene, Lira, Nancy, Gladys and Evelyn.

Nov 30, 2007

For Gladys Muana gyapun....


This one is exclusively awarded to my friend Gladys. While watching this photo my friend, you will be missing your happy times!!!!

Nov 22, 2007

I remember my good friend

There's a friend of mine who dont believe in God's existence and he always made his point greatly clear in that position. Some of my officemates began to pray for him. Every time we happen to be together and there was a prayer they will include him in it. But I wanted to go further. So I took my one step and we became very good friends. He told me his stories and in my own little ways, I started to understand him. He was just scared. And in my own idea (forgive me goodfriend) it was only his defense mechanism to......(mmmmm okey, i will not go further..)
I believed that deep in his heart, there is God.

In one of our seminar-workshop, an officemate approached him and said this: " I want you to know that I am concerned about you and I am praying for your salvation and that I can not bear you to be lost."

For me, that was a stopper.
I can not argue with her. I respect her. Somehow my friend must be very thankful because this woman spend her time telling about God's existence. She was very concerned (maybe). But you know in my own thoughts, I failed to feel her sincerity but opppsss who am I to judged her?

Her words only stopped me because I dont find it being Christian if she tend to envy other people and will do everything under her control to step on other people's head just to remain powerful in our office. (As in stepping in one's head because she loves to hit your reputation as a worker and as a person).

This woman during my stay for about six years in the office did plenty of nasty things not only to my good friend but to my other officemates as well. I do not know if she was aware that at that time almost everyone hates her. Its just that other people can not bring out their feelings against her for fear of something I can not figure.

I think I was one of those who just keep silent. If I was afraid of losing my job, I dont know.
When I resigned, the only reason was my son needs my time and I was no longer happy working with them.
But you know God has a purpose for everything. I gained back my confidence and my self intact.

My good friend though has a bad experience during those times has now regained back his reputation. I was there when he lost his job. I wanted to support his fight but well maybe, I was scared too. So he just left the office and continue on his life.

Now looking back, being prayerful is not a guarantee that you are a good person.
Our prayers wont count if we are not concern to other people's welfare and when our heart is full of fears, envy and pride.

On the other hand, my good friend and I had our own family and job now. We are both happy with our own chosen profession and was also blessed with good and attractive partners.
We have not talked for a long time now but the last time I heard about his belief was when I attended his wedding day. It's not a church wedding.
I was smiling silently when the Judge who married them asked him why he dont believed in God?
I am so sure that he answered the Judge the way he answered me 10 years ago.
I am smiling now as I end my article today.
Our friendship is one of the best thing that ever happened to me.
Mind you, he was my mentor in Adobe photoshop. Very Talented,Weirdeee and a real aRtiSt.

Twelve Months

The rules of my new homework which was tagged to me by my sweet friend Salve are as follows:

1.Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
2.Copy-paste the traits for all the twelve months (see below).
3.Pick your month of birth.
4.Highlight the traits that apply to you.
5.Tag 12 people and let them know by visiting their blogs and leaving a comment for
them.
6.Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve done it!
I am tagging Parisukat, Jayvee, Eves,Sweety, TK , genetics, Twerlyn, situlas, recel, Denz, ygens, and Lira.

A
pril’s flavor of the month LOVIELLY
(I love you ME and the rest of the April babies… ngorkkks)

Character

Smart. Kind –hearted and naturally attractive. They uses their passion to attract people and wit to distract the opponent. They are sociable and loves to read a lot. Self-proclaimed artist, writer, performer and anything their creative mind could think about. They also tend to follow their feelings in almost everything they do. Observant, capable and resourceful. All this qualities laid a firm foundation in whatever career they pick. With their determination and perseverance they normally achieve their objective. Usually respected by subordinates and is surrounded with loyal and faithful friends. Not meticulous enough and lack attention to details. They appear to be a little careless.

Love and Marriage
Attractive (Bias… bweheheh) and loveable person. Optimistic and caring for others. They will do anything to please their loved one and usually their feelings are reciprocated. They also enjoy successful and good relations with the opposite sex. Veryyyy romantic by nature and sometimes they tend to be unrealistic.


The Twelve Months

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.
(Witch dont really follow instruction.... tsorii folks! hir hir hir)

I was awarded!!!


I am always grateful to you Fren Lerlyn. You make me feel important all the time. Thank you from the bottom of my kitten heart!!!
I will share this award to my favorite blogwriter ever.... PARISUKAT, my bestfriend Eves, my newly operated sexy friend Nancang and to my new friend Genetic. We are all SOMEBODY in our own field.

PS
Click this one to post in your house.
(The bloggerframe above is a bit personalized)

Nov 19, 2007

Lydia Andrea


Her name Lydia was taken from my grandmother (the mommy of my father) who died long time ago and I even was not lucky enough to feel her in person. She is my Lola Lydia Patricio (the name Andrea came from my father's ... ANDREW).

Last November 1, 2007, during our padasal (prayer) for our departed love ones, the woman who lead the padasal uttered the name of Lydia referring to my lola.
This little girl abruptly asked my mommy why she heard her name.
My mom sweetly smiled at her and told her that the prayer is for our lola not hers.
Le-an (Lydia's nickname) shouted to everybody that her name is not a name of a dead person.
"Dili lagi himatay ang pangalan nako!!!!" Everybody laughed at her gestures. She was really very cute.
"Dili gyud ko Lydia....muundang nako sa school lagii..." he shouted

One week after that when she arrived from school, Le-an was crying so hard.
She entered my room and told me that she dont want to go to school anymore.
I was a bit worried about what happen to her in school so I asked her why.
She answered to me that her teacher told her to write her name Lydia in a paper.

"Dili lagiii koooo" desperately she said
" Why ? What name do you like di-ay?" I asked her
"Loviellyjoy akong gusto!" she exclaimed
I was smiling.
How sweet ba diay ning little girla oi.
"Aba at gusto mo pang agawin name ko haaa...." I told her.
"Basta Tita, basta.... loviellyjoy na ko."

Well, what can I do? Ako na ang impostora karun.

Nov 18, 2007

Why do I blog

Marie thanks for sharing this one to me.


1. How long have you been blogging?
My on and off blogging started last year. It was only this month when I started blogging almost everyday. I have now my favorite bloghouse like the one from Parisukat, Salve, Gladys, Nancy, Eves and a lot more. I enjoy reading their blogs. It keeps my day bright and I always find my self smiling everytime I finished reading their articles.

2. What inspired you to start a blog and who are your mentors?
It was my best friend Evelyn Sularte who inspired me to try blogging. I was not interested because I still can not give up my notebook journal until I found the site of my good friend joel… since then I was so inspired writing my blogs to connect with them everyday but I have no mentor….. (subo…nagkamang gyud ko…)

3. Are you trying to make money online, or just doing it for fun?
Well, I tried to make money here but something is always wrong in my application. I always get rejected hehehee.. but its okey.. really!!! I just enjoy writing some of my thoughts and making friends here and most of all I tend to admire Filipino writers. Its very inspiring knowing that plenty of Filipinos are really talented.

4. Tell me 3 things you LOVE about being online.
Having a good friend here is enough to keep my mind in peace;
Knowing someone with talent specially in writing and admiring their creativity makes me alive and giggling and lastly I can express anything my heart desires with out ANY restrictions. Manipulating my own blog with out fearing mistakes is a heavenly feeling.

5. Tell me 3 things you STRUGGLE within the online world.
I can not follow instructions (shiittt…. Attention deficit man tingali ko, ayyy.. abaw gid! Purbida!)
I can not edit my own templates,
I always fail joining advertising stuff and etc…
I find my self in Kinder 1 for now.
Though I still enjoy everything even my being so Jurassic about some of its application.

I hope you enjoy my answers. Now I want to hear something from Lira, Salve and Iceyelo

Nov 17, 2007

Rains

I stayed at home today and postponed my trip to Davao.
Haaa...heavy rain, thunder, flood in Puting Bato here in Barangay Calumpang General Santos caused the evacuation of some residents to Barangay Gym delayed my plan.

(Purok Puting Bato is a place heavily populated. Full of voters. The area is within the seashore of Saranggani Bay located in one of the largest barangay in GSC.)

Poor children.
I actually saw them carrying their own things.
A family holding hands together, helping each other walking against the flood while saving some things they could still used.

These people are squatters.
Filipino who have not owned even a piece of land in our own country.
Two years ago the LGU in GSC relocated them already.
Majority of them sold the land awarded to them by our government and decided to go back in Puting Bato. I personally know some of them.

It is just a cycle.
You relocate them
They will sell the land awarded to them
and go back to being a squatter.

My God...
Only here in my beloved Country.
Anyway, I am still hopeful that things will get better soon.

Nov 15, 2007

Happy Sight in many things

- anne shannon demarest - 1965

Walking in the Summer rain,
Noisy wee-folk in their play,
In hush that stills a boisterous day,
In waterbeads on windowpane.

In bell-clear tones when robin sings,
Dew-kissed web a spider weaves,
Rich and gold of Autumn leaves,
And fairy-flakes that Winter brings.

A gentle pat upon my cheek,
In glancing moonbeams on a lake,
In happy laughter children make
While wading in a rushing creek.

In wind that plays in willow trees,
And angel voices in a choir,
The crackle of an open fire,
And tulips nodding in the breeze.

In silky strands of milkweed pod,
In sparkling grains of sea-washed sand,
The courteoous clasp of Friendship's hand,
And in a dialogue with God.
delight i find in many things





My heart is now full of hope.
Like a child, I can see many beautiful things around me.
Playing with Bien and Lean make me appreciate the simplicity of life.
The two of them can also make me cry.
They can also make me laugh so easy.
They always make my heart soft flavored with an apple
and yet...
they also bring-out the worst in me
they can make me mad
monstrous
furious
but with them my life is complete.
I always feel the happy grin in my face
when I hang out with them.

Friendship all over the world

This is from my good friend Twerl. Thank you again for this one haaa.... Appreciate gyud nako ni amiga.






No man is an island
No man can live alone

Ang corny koooooo
Shockssss....
Darn.....
Its true.

I used to live alone.
Nerd as I can be
No less showing there be ahahahahahaaahhh
Who.... cares?
They have nothing to do with me

Now looking back
I was so bitter
I was so sad
My world
seems so blue

I have wasted my time when I was a bit younger
but anyways, it is not too late....

This blogworld, widen my being
I am a happy person now

Thanks to all of you
who visits me
despite their busy schedule

You give me blood to drink
You give me flesh to eat
Now I am a happy vampire
Pretending to be a charing witch.. heheeeh

Nov 14, 2007

Emily Dickinson

Why I Like her?

I was outwitted with her phrase about herself:
My hair is bold like the chestnut burr; and my eyes, like the sherry in the glass that the guest leaves.

And above all, I love her poem about love... hahhhahhha
As if I am a sad woman! But somewhere in my heart believes that she was a happy woman.

Another one from her


Part Three: Love

XVI

I ’M wife; I ’ve finished that,
That other state;
I ’m Czar, I ’m woman now:
It ’s safer so.

How odd the girl’s life looks 5
Behind this soft eclipse!
I think that earth seems so
To those in heaven now.

This being comfort, then
That other kind was pain; 10
But why compare?
I ’m wife! stop there!

She is mystical, a witchy-like
A fearless poet
Genuine to her words
For me she is the poet of the unpoetic
She is deep
You think you can read her
But there’s more… (My name witchyboop was taken from her and Bettyboop. Natripan lang... pero mahal ko yang dalawang character na yan. Kwedaw ka..)
More

The Road Less Traveled

Robert Frost

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 20


There are roads that I have taken for granted. Sometimes, I look back and wonder "what if". But I know that I have done the best (at that time) decision to make the situation right.
My new friend Salve posted a poem from Robert Frost. I never Like him during my college days in my literature subject. I was loyal to Emily Dickinson Nyahahahaha

This one from RF reminds me of my earlier days....
Hmmmm.... kung me Pinoy Big Brother kaya nun... sasali talaga ako.
Hahahahaha... anung koneksiyon, eh pwede pa naman ngayon. Jowk!!!
Wala lang maisip today.
Enjoy the poem posted and I hope you will also look back and post your "what if's" in life fellow bloggers.

Nov 13, 2007

What kind of flower are you

Got this from my delicious (hehehehe masagpaan gyud ta ani bah....) and beautiful friend of mine, Lerlyn....
This is truly me:

You Are a Daisy

You see the world with an artist's eye.
Finding beauty is easy for you - even in the dullest of moments.
You notice all of the colors of the world, from fresh grass to sunsets.
You are a total optimist and hedonist. You love to drink life in.

Now I am asking Jei, Eves and Nancy to try this.
Have fun!!!

Nov 12, 2007

Change

Change is to one woman resigning in work
To another the beginning of a new opportunity
Change is the shifting of highschool bestfriend
To a new found life time friends

Change is the moving of one’s age
And the development in their body
It’s the coming of maturity
A realization of self importance

It’s taking one step at a time
Specially in the emotions of each person’s heart
But in the end it is the change that gives us hope

Hope to dream
Hope to be happy
And hope to live our life together
with the person we truly love

(thanks for dedicating to me your new post Jei. You are one of the best)

An ode to Twerlyn

It is a wonder to know someone like Twerlyn
She is not the ego-centric old witch in Snow White fairytale
Who revealed in the process of gazing into her mirror
by asking who is the fairest of them all
She can give you words that will easily make you love her
She will make you feel simple
She will make you feel fresh
She will never frightens your being
She is one inspiration indeed

Why she is so friendly
Why she is so true
And above all these
Why she is so beautiful
Maybe because she is created
To make the world untwisted

She make you feel loved
Because she lives in love

She has meaning to me
I am experiencing her now
Making love to her blog
Making friends on her existence

You are delicious...
Where did you came from?

Let love flow

Don’t deny your love
Let it flow
In all parts of your body

Give it a chance
Make your love show
In your smile or maybe in your looks

A little love
Will make us grow
Make them feel it now

Making love can be unseen
Tender touch, softee voice
It means so much

Let our love grow
Everywhere freely
To silence love
Makes us odd
And grow old so bad

Nov 11, 2007

I like this song





I had a great time reading this in a magazine.
Parang ako man oi, ganito rin. Try to read this also fellow bloggers. Have fun!!
!


I don't wanna do the dishes
I don't wanna do the wash
I sprinkled clothes a week ago
And now my iron is lost!

I don't wanna rattle pots
I don't wanna rattle pans
I see the mail light flashin
I wanna chat with friends!

Oh, the table needs some dusting
and the floor could sure be mopped
But I know if I get started
there'll be no place to stop.

The closets are so full
things are falling off the shelves
I wish for cleaning fairies
and magic little elves.

They could sprinkle fairy dust
and twitch their little nose
The windows would be sparkling
I would have no dirty clothes.

Oh, I know that I'm just dreamin
My head is in the sky
I must cook that meat that's graying
and bake that apple pie.

The hubby needs a bath
the dog needs attention
Oh... the other way around I mean
my brain is in suspension



I am runnin round in circles
I am getting nothing done,
I keep thinking of my web
I am missing all the fun!

Well, I know I'm not addicted
Though I hear that all the time
But I quess this stuff can wait on me
Cause today I'll be ON LINE!!!

My motto in life

I've been living in this words for years...

Life is good!!!

HYPOCHONDRIA ( Charlotte Anselmo)

I really can't tell you the name of my friend who really think he is sick.
Many doctors had already told him that there was nothing wrong with him.
I hope this article would be a help.Mmm... Nancang? dont worry... its not you , of course. hehheee


What in the world is that you ask..
I shall endeavor to explain
Tis someone who thinks they're always sick
Everyday they find a new pain!
Now all of us...to some degree
Suffer with this disease
But some of us are worse than others
So it's them we often tease!
I have a friend, I shall not name
Who often feels quite ill,
Off to the doctor he will race
To get a different pill!

The rest of us, his friends I mean
Are sometimes kind of bad
We laugh behind his back you see
When really, it is so sad!
So a lesson now we had to learn
And we learned it the hard way,
We found out something shocking
Our poor friend.....died yesterday!
I guess he had the last laugh
His mind was pretty quick
For on his tomb was written...
"I told you I was sick!"

More of me (From Lira)

* 1. What is your husband's name? E.R.V.I.E.N

* 2. What color underwear are you wearing now? B.L.A.C.K

* 3. What are you listening to right now? ANG PROBINSYANA NA GWAPA

* 4. What are the last 4 digits in your cell number? 5432

* 5. What was the last thing you ate? CARROT JUICE And RADISH CAKE

* 6.If you were a crayon what color would you be? B.L.A.C.K

* 7. How is the weather right now? S.U.N.N.Y D.A.Y

* 8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? C.L.I.E.N.T

* 9. The first thing you notice about the opposite/preferred sex? W.I.T.S

* 10. Favorite type of Food? >>>Vegetarian dish

This tag is forwarded to Nancy and Jayvee.

Climb Until Your Dream Comes True

For my fren jei... got this from a card yesterday.
It says everything I wanna tell you about your dreams.
DOnt give up.... you are talented.


Climb Until Your Dream Comes True
Often your tasks will be many,
and more than you think you can do
Often the road will be rugged
and the hills insurmountable, too
Always remember, the hills ahead
Are never as steep as they seem,
And with faith in your heart start upward
And climb 'till you reach your dream,
Nothing in life that is worthy
Is ever too hard to achieve
If you have the courage to try it
And you have the faith to believe...
Faith is a force that is greater
Than knowledge or power or skill
And many defeats turn to triumph
If you trust in God's wisdom and will
Faith is a mover of mountains,
There's nothing that God cannot do,
So start out today with faith in your heart
And Climb Until Your Dream Comes True.
~ HELEN STEINER RICE ~

Nov 10, 2007

Video projects

Tani akun na lang ini nga idea para nagamit ko sang gaeskwela ako sa college.
Not that I dont like our video production. Highest din naman kami noon.
It's just that I reallyyy like this MTV.
Very original.
To the maker of this, Hands uppp..... KAmayad mayad gid sa imo.
Watch this video pls. Malipay ka na maham-ut ka pa.

To my fellow bloggers.... this is only for fun.

Ang probinsyana na gwapa

I exercised this MTV today. I love the music and its dancing steps. I have fun with my cousins doing this and we also have created our own steps....

Love listens,love hears

In an interesting book by Alexandra Davis-Neel and Lama Yongden, The secret Oral Teachings in Tibetan Buddhist Sects, the author tells how she approached a learned Tibetan regarding her plan to write the book. The wise man answer for me is both amusing and illustrative of point.

He says “Waste of time. The great majority readers and hearers are the same all over the world. I have no doubt that the people in your country are like those I have met in China and India, and these latter were just like Tibetans.

If you speak to them of profound truths they yawn, and if they dare, they leave you but if you tell them absurd fables, they are all eyes and ears. They wish the doctrines preached to them, whether religious, philosophic, or social, to be agreeable, to be consistent with their conceptions, to satisfy themselves in their inclinations, in fact that they find themselves in them, and that they feel themselves approved by them.”


For me, this is true. I am in fact one of those who wasted time.

In addition to my confusion, words often mean different things to a different people. In the play The American Dream (a stage play I downloaded in the net last night) there was a scene portrayed by Edward Albee that’s says.
“My checkboard trying to communicate with your monopolygame.”
It is a conversation between a man and his wife. The wife here is discussing in minute detail a shopping episode but the husband was thousand miles away in his own thoughts. Her only punctuation mark was when she stops long enough to ask him to repeat perfectly what she has said. The wife wants to be certain he has heard.
To be sure, he has not heard a word but he repeats it perfectly.

I find the scene hilarious. Strange that I don’t weep in the scene since I realized that I felt I have been in this situation in my life since I got married.
I think I was wrong. I am a high-maintenance wife. I think I have been asking many things, only considering my self and my depression.
I was the only one thinking he was not listening.Or maybe I only want to believe that he was not listening at all.
If I only truly listened to him (the way my dad listens to my mom)
I could hear him.
His joy.
His cry.
Love listens.
Love hears.
My another realization is that Love is not sex. Of course (this one is for my mother-in-law).
I can not doubt her love to me now. It is so genuine. I honestly love her too .
During my 4 days vacation 2 weeks ago ( October 29-Nov.3)I felt her.
I love her everything. In my experience with her I can say that:
In love, each man is his own personal challenge.
Three years ago, I never thought I could be this sweet to her.
I never thought she could love me like a real daughter.
It is a blessing to have her.
Having a good relationship to my Mama Vicky, reminds me of Antoine Saint-Exupery's "The Little Prince" (Besfren Eves you buy me this book haaa as my pamasko)definition of love as "the process of my leading you back to your self." In this statement, he is confirming his faith in man's ability to guide another to love. He suggest here that a growing SELF brings a growing love.
I hope not to waste our growing love for each other. Since I love her, it is now my responsibility to create joy with her like what I have with my parents and my family. To work in love is to work in joy.
It is easier for me now to love others.
I am stronger.
I am less afraid.
This is an important insight I discovered now.

My only pain is my brother. My love relationship to him started since birth.
If I will die tomorrow, I don't even know what to say to him.
I am not sure but I rather not talk to him.

Mommy told me that love is accepting and understanding.
I must Love him even if he feel unloved.
I must try to understand him even if he thinks he was misunderstood.
But love grows in different rate.
My love for him died.
I don't even know how and why. Or maybe my not being appreciative to his existence is only a resultant to his behavior.
I honestly don’t wish to bridge our gap.
But you see, in love there is hope.
It is always changing and learning.

In the buddhist book I just discussed in the first paragraph, it was said that basic human characteristics includes confusion,egocentricity, pride,envy, even indigestion, disappointment and many more.
To that degree, I am 100 percent human.

(From the right: My elder brother Kuya Owe, my Mom, Baby Lovi and my ever Favorite brother since birth)

Nov 9, 2007

Pito-pito

I just visited my besfren's blog and I find this one cuteee.... so joiners ko karun.

Rule: List of 7. Write 7 random facts about yourself in your blog.

1. Madramang-makwela na maarteng weirdo
2. Mahilig sa fitting lalo na't kulay itim na showee ang cleavage at see-thru ang
dating
3. Napapalitan ang pangalan ng mga kaibigan at kapamilya at kahit ng mga artista o
kung anu -a nong bagay na napag-uusapan pero magkatugma naman ang tunog.
4. Kunyari nakikinig pero di naman pala, pero nakikinig naman talaga kaya lang medyo
di lang talaga nya maintindihan minsan lalo na kapag tinupak maging bruhilda.
5. I just spend my time in a coffee shop. painum -inum lang ng kape habang nag
cha-characterized ng mga taong dumadaan na feeling nya ay nagsusulat sya ng
nobelang ala-Harry potter ang dating... pero di pa nauumpisahan until now..ngee
6. Fashion oriented na me sariling mundo- di naman nang-aagaw ng atensyun, wala lang
feeling impostora , ambisyosa at maldita ang fashion. Ususera..
7. Funny na corny.Hindi sumusunod sa rule. Matigas ang ulo in tagalog, ewan bading
yata sya

Now I am tagging Lira

BS in KCC Mall

Forgetting the pain, we went to KCC Mall together to buy some new books. Then He also bought some pizza and we stayed in Coffee Dream. While drinking my coffee Bien answered the questionnaire I made for him and at the same time eating the pizza and drinking his juice.

He was happy now.
He kissed me all the time.
"Mommy? You love me?" He asked me.
"Why you asked me that? You think I dont love you?" I asked him
"You lovee mee" he said with a big grin on his face.

I wrapped my arms around him so tight and I am scared that he might do it in school. Hurting his classmates when he gets irritated.

I explained to him that hurting is bad.
Then he answered me that yes it is bad. It is not makatao.
I remember his subject in MAKABAYAN. His teacher taught them the KATANGIAN NG BAWAT BATANG PILIPINO. I find it cutee... nakarelate sya.


Bien proved his worth to me once again. He understands. He cares about what is happening around him. Paranoid lang siguro kaming mag asawa dati.
He grabbed my hands and bring me to MC DONALD.
He played in the playhouse with the other kids until he get tired and we went home.

When were home, all his cousins were waiting for him. Buti na lang me paSALUBONG ANG TITA. We sleep together in my room. As in the whole gang sleep with us.

A forgiving BS

While putting some lotion in my son's body inside my room,his words struck me.
As in walay atik.... nakalitan ko sa iyang words.
"Mommy , Happy na ako." He said.
"Why?" I asked him while still crying.
"Kasi si Tito CioCio nagsorry na. Tapos Maxine, Lean , Lj loves me!!!" he answered
Suddenly I saw my two nieces hiding under our bed.
Bien was laughing out loud now. As if nothing worse happened.

Kuya Hurts BS

Today Lj, Maxine , Anjo, BS and Igi Boy (all my nieces and nephew) except for BS (he is my son) went to a store to buy some food to eat for an early morning merienda. Then Bien studied his lessons. He had the tendency to be careless in his examinationbut then again bata pa kasi. So we are starting to train him to manage his time for studying and playing.

During cooking time for our lunch, me and my elder brother were having a funny time together. He was only teaching me the wrong style of cooking caldereta. He was really thinking that I dont know the recipe (heheheee..napahiya tuloy ang kuyaa).

Then I heard my son crying in pain. I should know that he is in pain....
Bien is shouting "aray kooo....aray ko..." and also he was crying. In his voice I felt that he was not only in pain but also he was very scared.

From my Kuya Erwin's room I saw him running to get inside my room. I left my eldest kuya and run to Bien but the door is already closed. My son closed it. He was fearful that his Tito Erwin might follow him to hurt him again.
I knocked the door and called his name.
I tried to sound very calm.
I told him its mommy.
Things are okey now..
I am here..

He opened the door with eyes clouded with big tears continuously falling down on his cheeks.
You know, I tried to keep my feeling but really, I can not help it. When I hugged him, I cried. We cried while we were hugging each other.
If you can only feel every beat of my sons heart, you will hate my brother.

The two of us have unresolved issues.
It was not being talked about.
I dont even remember how it started.
Why we hate each other.
Why the two of us do not spend time even saying hello or hi whenever we passed on each other in any place be it in the mall, in school, in our home or even during our eating time. It has been years... maybe since my birthdate.

Kuya Owe and my mom followed me.

"What happened to my friend? Kawawa naman ang friend ko.." Kuya Owe consoles my son. I have a cute little smile on my face hearing my brother speaking in english. This was the first time I heard him using that language. Though my heart is in pain, I was smiling.

From her garden, mommy was with us.She asked my son if he touches his Tito's thing. Bien in his distress just continue crying. Bien touched my Kuya's mountain bike. He only played the wheel then my brother thrown him the small squared clock. It was his left eye that was hit.

Knowing my mom who is always apologetic , she will never confront my brother. I know she is only waiting for the right time.

I wonder why despite of his ogre attitude God still showered him with blessings (forgive me Lord for questioning you). Kind wife, patient parent, wonderful siblings, intelligent pamangkins, high-paid work, healthy baby boy and many more. Yet, he is still bitter. He is aloof to us (me and my other brothers). He must have millions of hatred molecules for me.

"Mommy, I dont cry now." Bien told me. Then I realized that my room was now crowded. All my nephew and nieces were there consoling my son while no one had ever tried getting near my kuya.

I took Bien to the bathroom. While going downstair, I saw him watching TV in our living room. Frozen face.
"Kuya..." I confronted him
"Okey lang na sinasaktan mo ako nung maga bata pa tayo o kahit nung malalaki na tayong tao pero yung saktan mo ang anak ko, ibang usapan na yan"
I also told him that he could have told me what was wrong. Huwag naman yung sya pa ang manakit sa batang ALAM NAMAN NIYANG ME TRAUMA NA.
While telling him that I wanted top see his face. I wanna know how would he react to me. But I couldn't .....My tears were over flowing.... my voice was trembling.... I was so hurt....a hurt that came from my yesterday and was only triggered today.
I hate him.
I really do hate him.
I only realized that t.o.d.a.y.

In the most positive way I can, I explained to Bien the situation while bathing him.

My brother went inside the bathroom.
To my surprise, I did not feel anything.
Shittt..... ganito pala ang namanhid na.
You are like a stone.
So cold and so still.

I hate him for hurting Bien.
I pretended not to see him.
He was invincible to me.
I despised the day he was born to be my brother.
I can not despised the family I was with, only him.
t was my second eldest brother who actuallyu made my life miserable.
My Mom, Dad, and two other brothers shared with me their love.
I am so thankful for that.

"Love , sorry na talaga" My kuya told me.
Shocks first time na nagsorry.
Ang hari.... nag sorryyy...
"Dapat pala sinabi ko na lang sa yo. Di ko na man napigilan feelings ko." He added.

I did not answered. Forgiving man ako na tipo, pero at that time nag stock-up ANG THROAT KO.

"Okey lang Kuya. Andami ko na sigurong kasalanan sayo ano? Kaya pati anak ko na hyper active hate na hate mo rin. He is still on theraphy, dapat naiintindihan mo yan kasi ikaw naman ang oinakamatalino sa pamilyang ito. " I told him while pretending to busy washing my sons feet.

He get near my son and hold Bien's head.... He said sorry to BS and walked away.

Wow! Shocks... kahit papaano my brother is different now. He knows how to say sorry already!!! I know I am a sweet person, but I was not swept away by him.
Feeling ko he will always be hurting me emotionally.