Nov 10, 2007

Love listens,love hears

In an interesting book by Alexandra Davis-Neel and Lama Yongden, The secret Oral Teachings in Tibetan Buddhist Sects, the author tells how she approached a learned Tibetan regarding her plan to write the book. The wise man answer for me is both amusing and illustrative of point.

He says “Waste of time. The great majority readers and hearers are the same all over the world. I have no doubt that the people in your country are like those I have met in China and India, and these latter were just like Tibetans.

If you speak to them of profound truths they yawn, and if they dare, they leave you but if you tell them absurd fables, they are all eyes and ears. They wish the doctrines preached to them, whether religious, philosophic, or social, to be agreeable, to be consistent with their conceptions, to satisfy themselves in their inclinations, in fact that they find themselves in them, and that they feel themselves approved by them.”

For me, this is true. I am in fact one of those who wasted time.

In addition to my confusion, words often mean different things to a different people. In the play The American Dream (a stage play I downloaded in the net last night) there was a scene portrayed by Edward Albee that’s says.
“My checkboard trying to communicate with your monopolygame.”
It is a conversation between a man and his wife. The wife here is discussing in minute detail a shopping episode but the husband was thousand miles away in his own thoughts. Her only punctuation mark was when she stops long enough to ask him to repeat perfectly what she has said. The wife wants to be certain he has heard.
To be sure, he has not heard a word but he repeats it perfectly.

I find the scene hilarious. Strange that I don’t weep in the scene since I realized that I felt I have been in this situation in my life since I got married.
I think I was wrong. I am a high-maintenance wife. I think I have been asking many things, only considering my self and my depression.
I was the only one thinking he was not listening.Or maybe I only want to believe that he was not listening at all.
If I only truly listened to him (the way my dad listens to my mom)
I could hear him.
His joy.
His cry.
Love listens.
Love hears.
My another realization is that Love is not sex. Of course (this one is for my mother-in-law).
I can not doubt her love to me now. It is so genuine. I honestly love her too .
During my 4 days vacation 2 weeks ago ( October 29-Nov.3)I felt her.
I love her everything. In my experience with her I can say that:
In love, each man is his own personal challenge.
Three years ago, I never thought I could be this sweet to her.
I never thought she could love me like a real daughter.
It is a blessing to have her.
Having a good relationship to my Mama Vicky, reminds me of Antoine Saint-Exupery's "The Little Prince" (Besfren Eves you buy me this book haaa as my pamasko)definition of love as "the process of my leading you back to your self." In this statement, he is confirming his faith in man's ability to guide another to love. He suggest here that a growing SELF brings a growing love.
I hope not to waste our growing love for each other. Since I love her, it is now my responsibility to create joy with her like what I have with my parents and my family. To work in love is to work in joy.
It is easier for me now to love others.
I am stronger.
I am less afraid.
This is an important insight I discovered now.

My only pain is my brother. My love relationship to him started since birth.
If I will die tomorrow, I don't even know what to say to him.
I am not sure but I rather not talk to him.

Mommy told me that love is accepting and understanding.
I must Love him even if he feel unloved.
I must try to understand him even if he thinks he was misunderstood.
But love grows in different rate.
My love for him died.
I don't even know how and why. Or maybe my not being appreciative to his existence is only a resultant to his behavior.
I honestly don’t wish to bridge our gap.
But you see, in love there is hope.
It is always changing and learning.

In the buddhist book I just discussed in the first paragraph, it was said that basic human characteristics includes confusion,egocentricity, pride,envy, even indigestion, disappointment and many more.
To that degree, I am 100 percent human.

(From the right: My elder brother Kuya Owe, my Mom, Baby Lovi and my ever Favorite brother since birth)

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