Nov 6, 2007

Twinkle Kapalunguan

Yesterday I visited my long time highschool friend in Mindanao Baptist Hospital here in GenSan City together with my highschool Bestfriend Alma. She is dying. I saw her in the ICU but for now her status is already stable ( her doctor told us to be ready..anytime she will be going to die).

Like her name, she always shines on the top. Twinkle is the topnotcher in our batch... Beauty and brains. Pinaka least expected ko talaga na mangyayari ito sa kanya. I feel so sad seeing her in that situation na kahit sa pananalita nya'y hirap na hirap sya.

Her lungs , her heart , her kidneys and other major organs in her body is not functioning well. But I saw in her eyes her will to live more. My God... ayaw pa nyang mamatay. Ayaw pa nyang gumive-up kahit hirap na hirap na sya at kahit ang bawat kinakain niya ay di na tinatanggap ng kanyang sikmura( she still dont want to die. She refused to let go even if she's been suffering a lot and even when she always vomit everything she is eating)

While visiting her, some of our friends will tell her to lift up everything to God. "Sige na... pagod ka na Twinx.... let go na... let go na..."
I can not forget the reaction in her eyes... I know, I just know that she did not like what she heard.

They prayed for her.
I dont know but I can not join them in their prayer even if physically I was with them. I am too weak in this kind of situation. I just put on my cold face because I dont want Twinx to see me affected by her situation. I know her, she do not like to be pitied.
I'm really crying inside.
I really want to hug her frail body.
Touch gently her dried hair and dried and scaly skin.
But I refused to do it...
I dont know why I was not expressive with her.
Maybe I do not love her.
Maybe she is not close to me.
But inside, I am crying....
Inside I feel her pain.
Its just that I can not expressed it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

For some reasons..I have a vague memory of her name. It really sounds familiar..nakalimot lang ko but I know I've crossed path with this (pprobably) person or maybe I have read something about her years ago.

This is a heartbreaking story..i remember when my lolo was dying..he doesn't want to go, he was fighting death...but his bod is too weak to fight and just before his last breath, he said he wants to stay for the family but he is getting tired and he wants to rest.

It took me a year to recover from his death..from the pain of letting ur loved one go. It was so damn hard but well..that's life.

Musta na man imo friend ron? Did she really die?