Nov 5, 2007

Mommy almost slapped (from jei)

When it comes to testing my patience, my one year old son oftentimes succeeds in making me lose it. Almost everyday, we have this mommy-son war going on especially during feeding time and in sleeping at night which often results to semi-harsh yelling and butt-spanking. The guilt-feeling on my part, expectedly comes afterwards.
Being both a mommy and a career woman is one role I have yet to learn. It always amazes me to watch other mommies who are also preoccupied with their work being so patient in dealing with their equally “busy” child. ‘Supermoms’ is what they are called and I don’t have an inkling feeling that I could be one of them…yet.
Learning for the first time that I was pregnant gave me mixed emotions. At first, I thought I was only experiencing what they call “layag” because not having menstruation for months isn’t new or unusual to me anymore due to the fact of having abnormal hormones. I was not even thinking of the possibility of getting pregnant at that time. When I started to feel uneasy with my body already, I consulted not an OB doctor but a pregnancy test kit. How many lines do you think appeared after three minutes huh?
Finally, an ultrasound test confirmed that indeed, I am going to be a mom after 9 months. When my husband---my boyfriend then---was still trying to comprehend the good news, I was also trying to grasp the idea of me being a mother. At that time, not a single hint of how am I gonna look like being pregnant and how am I gonna be as a mommy came to pacify the mixed feelings I was having.
My son came out through normal delivery. He was indeed the bundle of everybody’s joy and the apple of our eyes. Every moment was captured and recorded which resulted to buying loads of photo albums. They said first-borns often possess gazillions of pictures. When he turned a year older, he started learning to walk, talks alien language and already demonstrated different emotions. It was on this stage of his life where my patience started to malfunction.
My son has this superb talent of fighting sleepiness. Even with all the yawning and the droopy eyes, he fights back sleep for wanting to walk around the house, from bedroom to kitchen, while yapping some alien words loudly and proudly. Now try to imagine going home from work, dog-tired and wanting to hit the bed to be able to wake up early the next day but your son just refuses to retire from the “work” he was having.
I often get hoarse voice from humming made-up lullabies and my legs often get tired from dancing while I hum for two to three hours. By doing these, all I get are kicks and wails. Tired moms do find these really irritating!
The little guy also has this attitude of forever refusing to take solid foods. He only accepts three to four scoops and after that, expect the food and the spoon to be flying around you. Goodness, my son has incredibly strong hands. And feet too. What he could not reach with his hands, he’ll try reaching it with his feet. I should have named him Dexter for being so dexterous.
But don’t get me wrong. I love my son dearly. What’s mysterious about it is the more he is testing my patience, the more I am drawn to him. The more my love for him grows. But I guess that’s just the way it is. Mommies love their child from the moment they were conceived until they reach their elementary days, until they finish highschool, until they graduated from college, until they marry, until they have a child of their own until…eternity.
My son is my pride and joy. He was, and still is, truly a blessing given to me and I could never thank God enough for that. Yes, there are times that I almost snap but the thing is, I never did. Just because I couldn’t sleep early or way too tired pushing the food inside his mouth is not enough reason for me to pour all my hatred and angst to him. Thankfully, I’m not that kind of momma. My son is just being a kid and living that kind of life only happens once. So why take that opportunity from him?
Patience is one virtue that I don’t really possess. I easily get irritated if I fail to achieve the things that I want to achieve. But my son, small and innocent as he is, taught me how to increase my patience’s level. He may not be a well-behaved kid as of the moment but when he is giving me my practical exam in “deal with your patience” subject, I would just stay silent and look into his eyes, then I would suddenly realize how I love this little kid. So much that I would extend my patience just for him. The funny thing is, when he realizes I’m staring at him, he would suddenly stop whatever he was doing and laugh his heart out. Indeed a child’s laughter is the best sound in the world!

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