Mar 25, 2008

A child was found in the dark forest alone.
The child was abandoned for dead by his mom and dad.
He did not die in the forest. He survived, not as a child, even though he was physically a human being, he was acting like an animal. He walk on all fours, made his home in a hole in the ground, he dont know any language except for an animal cry, knew no close relationship, cared about no one or no thing except for survival.

The man that was raised like animal will behave like one, for a man “learns” to be human.

Just as a man learns to be a human being, so he learns to feel like human, to love as a human.

In countless studies love is a learned response, a learned emotion.

How a man learns to love seems to be directly related to his ability to learn.

Most of us continue to behave as though love is not learned but lies dormant in human being. We simply wait for some mystical awareness to emerge in full bloom. Many wait for this age forever.

In discussing love, it would be well to consider the following:

One can not give what he does not possess;
To give love , you must posses love

One can not teach what he does not understand
To teach love, you must comprehend love

One can not know how he does not study
To study love, he must live in love

One can not appreciate what he does not recognize
To recognize love you must be receptive to love

One can not admit what he does not yield too
To yield to love you must be vulnerable to love

One cannot live what he does not dedicate to himself. To dedicate your self to love
you must be forever growing in love

Not that I'm feeling like "I know everything about love" here but I'm just telling you my thoughts about loving. The way we love today is the way we are being molded when we are still growing.

When we were newly born we know nothing about love. We are totally ignorant, dependent and vulnerable. If left alone, uncared most likely we will die.
Or if somebody takes care the people surrounding our world will teach us how to love.
If we cries out when hungry,in pain or in discomfort someone will respond, ease our pain, feed our hunger take away our discomfort and that would be our first human attachment. But that's not love were looking for... no matter we still don't know it. But when we grow we will be looking for love. If not found in our family we will be looking for it somewhere or to someone.
As we grow so is our world and so do our attachments.
If the love we have learned is limited then our love is immature, confused,possessive destructive,exclusive and to say the least disrupted.

I can recall the confusion of my friend when she broke-up with her husband took away her two young daughters brought the children home to her mom. Gets out the world again and finally she found someone that completes her. She told me that she is happy. I could see it in her. They lived together leaving her two daughters in her mom, rarely visiting them. The kids grows up with out her in their side. And she can still afford to tell me that She Is HApPy for she have finally found love.

The man loves her. I have no doubt about it for he had taken care of my friend so much. He gives her everything. The man also suffered for love. He grows up with out his father. He told me that he didn't know how it is to have a happy family. He just survived soliciting love from his relatives. He told me that maybe that is why his first marriage was not a success. He don't know how to handle a family. He just know how to love. I was even confused with his statement. Is it really hard to keep the family intact when you're broken while growing up? He was in pain
until she found my friend. His world brightens. And so is my friend. This time I have seen how they love and supported each other. That love was completed by the two of them alone. Her kids was never been a part of them and yet they are happy as lovers.

Recently they broke-up. She was no longer happy with him. She had found another happiness. This time she met the man from this blogworld. The third man in her life has children. The wife was already dead. But they have found love. She was no longer happy with his live-in partner who once completed her and who became our friend also.
She was having a relationship through the net while his live-in partner is busy working to earn for their living.
It is so easy for her to let go of this man. With out any valid reasons. She even told me that she pitied for this guy. He had been so good to her all the time when they were together. And I could say yes. He has been so good to you. He had given you everything....everything kahit di na niya Kaya.

Bakittt para kang hayop magmahal?
Why you can't consider other people's feelings?
Your daughters.
Your old mom who was living alone. You're dad already past-away.
Your Reycomambo who did nothing but pleased and loved you.

She is my friend but I am not blaming her family why she had grown like that.
She was the Irony of my story.
She grows up with love
and yet she's acting like an animal.
Satisfying only her needs.
She was not able to relate her comfort to a human role as a mother, wife, lover and as a friend.
It is not love she needs for his new found man from the net.
It is only an attachment that will lead to the complicated, multi-faceted phenomenon, love.

She is no longer with her live-in partner. They broke-up. That easy....
Nahirapan ang lalaki syempre. Nagalit. Naawa nga ako.

Her new-found love financially supports her though he is still somewhere abroad.
She is now living somewhere. New love nest in her new love. The guy being left is still broken. and yet she is happy.]
She is satisfied.
What struck me was her reactions to be a willing mom for her new boyfriend's children.
She was never been a good mother to her own flesh and blood.
How can it be?

In this case I do not believed that one falls out or in love. She possess no more love to "fall into" or "out of" than what she has and acts out at any precise moment in her life. It seems accurate to say one grows in love. The more she learns, the more her opportunities to change her behavioral responses and then can expand her ability to love. We can constantly growing in love, or dying.

Sa tingin ko lang sa kanya, mahal nya lang ang tao kapag nasasatisfy ang wants nya. "langhiya sa madaling salita napakaselfish nyang tao... yun lang yun.

I'm not perfect and I hope to be able to forgive my self for being less than perfect.
Sorry for publishing my feelings.... I am not yet finished.
I need this blog to unleashed my emotions.
This is I think my therapy of not hating her.

Well, It only proves that to live in love is life's greatest challenge.
heyt this. heavy...
( I already left this one in my draft space but I decided to once again published this. Your hit with my words because we both know the truth. What etiquette are your saying? Flashback... that's all I can say. Truth really hurts but at least I'm happy to know that your giving thoughts for your kids right now. Keep it up!)

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